Taking children on dates

[WhatanEmbarrasment]

I am on a single parents group and many of them are saying they bring their toddlers/ children on dates and it’s no different to meeting a stranger out and about with them. What’s your opinion on taking children on dates? Or meeting someone who bought their child along? I’m surprised so many people would do this but apparently no different to meeting a friend (as in people you don’t know not someone you already know so meeting someone when you have your child with you)

Absolutely not. What a ridiculous thing to do. And incredibly unsettling for the children. It's also very disrespectful to the person they are meeting for the date.

Absolutely not and I would never date anyone who thought this was acceptable.

What?!

No. That is very strange. The poor kids! (And the poor date..)

I was in the small minority of posters who said it was inappropriate but most people were saying it was absolutely fine to meet up with strangers with your children as kids meet strangers every day so do we just never leave the house!

The logic is ridiculous imo. Kids might cross the path of strangers every day but they don’t sit in a cafe with them for an hour. I would walk out if a date turned up with kids in tow

My son is grown now but I would never introduce a child to a potential partner until the relationship was established.

Absolutely horrendous. I'm thinking of trying to dip my toe back in and wouldn't let anyone meet my kids within a year.

I think it was particularly aimed at those with babies and toddlers as they “won’t know any different” however someone said her child was 7 and she would never do that and was asked if she never leaves the house then as he will come across strangers every day, obviously trying to justify it.

And sorry but the thought of the kid entertaining themselves while mummy or daddy flirts with a random virtual stranger for an hour is horrendous parenting

No they have a plan for that, meeting them at a park or soft play 🫣

I find this odd on so many levels tbh. Who wants to go to soft play on a first date?

And people wonder how so many children end up getting abused or murdered by their mums “new partner” 🤦‍♀️

The sort of bloke who is ok with this is not the sort of bloke you want to have round your children

I've never done it as I always had lots of childcare options when I was a single parent - I was very fortunate regarding this. I don't see it as intrinsically harmful though. Those of you who do, would you also think it wrong to take a child to a meeting with a friend, in a cafe or for a walk or whatever?

Because there is no difference to the child. A baby or toddler won't know that this meeting is with a potential partner. As long as it's a child friendly venue and activity, and the new man or woman is just being introduced to the child (if they are verbal) as a friend, not "here is your new mummy/daddy".

I honestly can't see the problem with it, and I could see it might really help single parents with no child care, who can often otherwise really struggle to get out and meet anyone (which is not good for their mental health, and therefore long term not good for the child either). The new date might turn out to be a predatory paedophile of course, but equally so might a platonic friend - as long as the child is not left unsupervised with the new person it should be ok.

My instinctive response is that this is icky and wrong. How can you comfortably size up someone for a potential sexual relationship with your kids in tow?

Well that’s one way of presenting your child on a platter to potential weirdos who then know for sure you have no clue about protecting them 🤢 some people have no fucking sense at all, idiots.

So not giving full attention to either their child or their date?

Honestly this is such a hard no for me

How do you have a 'Getting to Know You' conversation with your child there?

And how do you know that your date isn't sizing up your child/ren rather than you?

Completely inappropriate.

Unfortunately some men do target women with children to date... and it's not the woman they are interested in.

I'd love to see the guy's faces when they find out their their date is at a soft play, it's not at exactly condusive to romance, and what woman thinks a new man should meet her DC straight away

I guess the same way they would chat with a friend? With their kids there? However it seemed to be mainly parents who probably ignore their child at soft play anyway 🫣

Okay say for arguments sake you do this for an initial meet up what then? If you can’t source childcare for the first meet up then presumably you aren’t going to get childcare for a second date? Are you going to take them along to every date, put them in front of the TV with a bag of sweets while you get down to it in the bedroom. I do know it’s hard to get out there, I was a single parent myself, but taking your kids on a date is not the answer.

I don’t see it at all the same as meeting a friend who you can be chatting casually with and letting your attention wander to your kids.

Meeting a date is a totally different scenario. You’re checking this person out as a potential partner and so you need to be giving them your full attention.

I think maybe they’re trying too hard to justify what they know deep down is wrong

Batshit. I have never introduced my son to a new partner. None ever stuck and that's exactly why. I dated someone for 6 months without introducing them and don't regret it one bit. Never introduce your kids that soon.

That is absolutely weird.i am a single parent and when I am ready to date, there is no way I will bring my kids

So wrong in so many ways.