Do you feel your feelings?

[user9976498]

Or try to ignore them?

I’ve always tried to run from them because they feel too unbearable to acknowledge. I try to drown the worst ones out with distraction, sleep and/or alcohol.

I’m heartbroken I haven’t felt like this in years.

I’m trying to do something different this time and allow myself to feel what I feel. But it feels counterintuitive, to allow myself to go to such a dark space.

So do you let yourself feel your feelings?

Is it safe to do so?

How do you do it?

And for how long?

You won't get lost in them forever. Do you remember how a good cry feels, and how peaceful you feel afterwards? You come out the other side. When emotions get stuck it's usually because the person resists feeling them.

It's a good idea to have something in mind for afterwards though, to comfort you, especially with ongoing heartbreak.

There’s a power in crying. Go for long walks alone where you are likely to not see anyone, and let yourself cry it out. It’s very healing.

Feelings are always going to be felt in some shape or form, whether it’s feeling them directly and engaging with them, or them emerging as anxiety/depression down the road. The trouble with burying your feelings is that you bury them alive.

I find it really difficult too and would do almost anything to run from pain.

I eat my feelings. (Genuinely, not being flippant! It is a problem).

Im sorry you’re going through a hard time 💐

I hear you. And do the same.

I am 'the strong one'. it sucks and I dont know how to really deal with my feelings as I have always had to be strong and bury my feelings. It started as a trauma response as a child, now it is 'normal' but I know it's not.

Do you remember how a good cry feels, and how peaceful you feel afterwards?

Perhaps therein lies the problem… I cry so little that the only times I’ve properly cried are when something has been really, really wrong, like when my dad died. It’s been ugly, uncontrollable sobbing until I’ve retched and vomited and felt broken and blown apart afterwards.

I’m afraid that once I start crying, I’ll never stop.

This is so very true, and why I’m trying to do it differently this time. I saw a psychologist last year. She helped me a great deal and believed the root of my difficulties (aside from the trauma of my childhood of course) was not allowing myself to feel things, culminating in my periodic episodes of explosive anger and feeling out of control, together with recurrent episodes of depression.

So this is my first run of trying it the new way. I just feel so scared.

Maybe at some point in your childhood you learned that your feelings were inconvenient or of no importance? Or maybe not. But it sounds like you are working really hard on this, so do be tender with yourself - you are allowed go at your own pace. 🌹

I used to be like this and run from my feelings or push them away. IMy therapist has been really helpful (it might help you to explore your childhood more OP). I would start slowly so that you can see that the small bad feelings are ok and once you feel them they go away. Then you will be able to tell which ones are good to feel and which ones are unhelpful or actually thoughts instead that need to be challenged or gently floated away through mindfulness. Depression is not an "everyday" feeling and it can be really easy to spiral or get sucked into a hole, but equally it won't help to let depression feelings fester. I would suggest doing this with the help of the psychologist or a therapist so you have support, someone to talk to (even if it's just rambling) and someone who can give guidance. It feels really good to get to the point of saying "this feels bad but it's OK" instead of "this feels bad and I want it to stop" but it takes time