Long story short... parents were and still are toxic... all Ive ever known... grandparents raised me for the most part.. never really had any friends... bit of a loner... then met my now late husband...everything I thought was normal wasn't... and it wasn't until my second child was born that I realised my marriage wasn't right.
Sadly he became very unwell and passed away. So it all came out and I realised after meeting someone this all wasn't normal. Since his passing and saying to his friends and family about this I am now in the wrong.... what even is this?...abuse of some sort but what? Still gaslighting myself!
Heres a list of only some of what happened...
*Never shown any affection. Was told it was me
*Belittled me or commented on negatively
*Would manipulate me into his way of thinking
*Tricked family into paying for the wedding
*Moved us away where it was difficult to get buses anywhere. i didn't have a license. And was told we never had any money for lessons. But he stillwould never pick me and the children up if we were out. Friends never visited either. So was very isolated
*Bank cards were taken off me because I was spending 'too much'. (Buying myself essentials)
*Manipulated to believe I was a 'sound wife' who was cool with husband being in the pub/out with friends/away on trips. While I was at home with the children. Yet we had 'no money'
*He was always working but we never seen any of this money. Turned out that no bills were being paid.
*Took out credit in my name. Using an old email address I didn't use so didn't see any emails. So i wouldn't have checked this email as it was a very very old one. Now paid off but sadly my credit score has taken a hit.
*Gambled, drank and had other habits and funded them easily. But we had 'no money' for me to even buy myself new clothes.
*i had to ask for money for a food shop every week and my card that i was allowed (joint account) would decline all the time.