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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Changed behaviour for new woman?

2 replies

somenotes · 13/01/2024 10:36

One day STBXH decided he no longer wanted to speak to me. I much later found out (not from him) he cheated, took drugs etc when he was on holiday the year before. Prior to my discovery, he had moved to his hometown and marriage was very much over.

From snooping on his socials he seems to be in a relationship with a woman he values? and not the one he cheated with. I say this because when they first got together he changed his profile picture to theirs. Unfortunately, a few weeks later they broke up and he proceeded to post a ton of quotes indicating he's hurting. This is something he didn't do when our marriage broke down. We were together for 6 years and share a young DC.

They got back together after a 4-month break and he immediately deleted his SM. And 6 months in, he is still standing strong.

I'm very surprised by his behaviour because we never had each other on SM. He was generally a bad husband and father. Now, he chooses to have very minimal contact with DC and only visits about twice a year.

Do people really change in such a short time?

OP posts:
Stuckinthemiddle7890 · 18/03/2024 22:41

Op sorry I know I'm late to the table on this... can I say ... he hasn't changed.. if he had changed he wouldn't be ignoring his children. Rest assure he's the same idiot he was before.. I won't insult you with the usual you're better off without him (you are of course) because that was your hubby and father of your kids and your family unit and you deserved to have his love and loyalty, but be secure that he's still a waste of space and he didn't change for someone else.

Itsamthing · 18/03/2024 23:23

People change when they want to. If they think it's worth while. If the juice isn't worth the squeeze they won't change. Maybe this woman creates the circumstances where he can change and be a better person. For you, his DC and his new woman.

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