Post divorce success stories

[HelpWendy]

Hi everyone,

I really need to change my mindset.

I have always been ambitious but with young kids the last 8 years or so, I have become lost in my career but unfortunately still have the ambitious streak. But it's got no focus any more and with divorce looming I am terrified that I will be so constrained that life for everyone will be basically sh+t and I am now starting to see why people stay in marriages.

I am finding it so hard to imagine any sort of better future and what's the point, we should just stay together, having a muted marriage and plod along.

Please please I would love your input - I am struggling to see a future.

Thank you :)

You still have the ambitious streak. You just need to find the focus.
Can you mind map or brainstorm it? Sit down and think through to gain some clarity.
What did you want to do? What do you do now? What other things could you do? Is there a route from where you are now to where you want/wanted to be, professionally, even if it’s a bit of a winding route?
Then, what are the practicalities? What hours are the children in childcare? What would be the split of care between you and your ex? What other childcare options could you use that you don’t at the moment? Any benefits you might be entitled to?
Could there be a ‘middle way’ where you do something in the short term that’s linked to your ultimate long term ambition eg admin work in law/education/medical but ultimate aim to be a professional in the field (just examples as I’ve no idea what your area of work is).

I’ve just divorced (though kids are mid primary and secondary age) and I find the prospect of being able to steer my own professional course unhindered very motivating. There are always practicalities but things can be shifted, there are ways to make things work.

Just my perspective. Don’t settle for plodding along. Life is short and precious.