Getting to know your OH again

[2moregoes]

Everyone gets to know each other during the dating period of a relationship, but does anyone here still make the effort to get to know their partner/husband/wife years down the line?
I’m considering a suggestion to my partner that we make time to ask each other questions regularly no matter how personal, with spontaneous and unplanned questions.
I feel like it would bring us closer again after a rocky year, but I don’t know if this is a thing or if it would even go down well.
most people assume they know their partner inside out by the time they’re married or years after dating, but do we really? People never stop growing and changing as a person so their questions would be answered differently over different time periods. I know I’m not the same person I was when I met DP.
If you’re still with me and don’t think I’ve lost the plot, is this something you do or would do? What questions would you be curious to ask your OH? Is it a bad idea to dive into the past and ask for clarification over certain things even though so many years have passed? Is it important to know everything or should people have secrets/ give false answers for privacy?
Any feedback would be welcomed

Sounds like a great idea, and it is already a thing: 36 questions to fall in love/foster intimacy:

https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/36_questions_for_increasing_closeness

Not sure about the delving into the past stuff though - depends what. I would be wary of asking questions to which there might be "wrong" answers which could upset people and have emotional fallout in the relationship.

And I do think people are entitled to their privacy, in general...
Anyone is free to ask anything, but that doesn't mean they are entitled to an answer.

There's a book by Gottman called 'Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love' that you might find helpful.

+1 for the Gottman book

You can buy couples gifts from Amazon that involve asking each other questions and suggestions for dare nights etc.

A nice bottle of wine with one of these makes for an interesting night.

Thank you everyone I appreciate the suggestions

I meet DH for coffee at least 4 times a week.
We sit, chill, chat and drink coffee.
We go out for breakfast every week.
We don't drink or smoke so this works for us.

My husband and I watch Married at first sight, when they do the questions part we always pause and answer them, it's really interesting

Not sure about the questions bit as it's something I've never considered but I've been aware recently that I've been taking my DP for granted and not really listening to him properly. We've been making the time to do more stuff together (even just sitting down for a proper meal instead of rushing on the go, or walks together) and I've really enjoyed our chats.

We play an app game called 'paired' it asks questions and you can't see the others answer til you answer. We have had some really interesting conversations from it and I feel closer to him than ever 😁

Don't go delving into the past again. It was already a different lifetime when you got together and now it's two. Unless he was unfaithful i think you need toet the past lie.

But of course it's lovely to get to know each other again. I would make sure it doesn't feel like an interrogation or too political etc but just maybe talk about the news, what does he think of this, what does he think of that. That's usually a good way to start the conversations and then just follow it. It's mainly about making time

The Gottman Institute has a free mailing list too with lots of ideas on this and related topics.

Another vote for Gottmans books. Also his newsletter sends you a monthly challenge /idea to help your relationships. It’s free and gives you reason to do it again each month.

Crosspost with seacucumber 😂

Longtime married and on long car journeys I sometimes ask DH questions about what does he think about x. Or if you could travel anywhere where would it be etc. I am much more curious than he is but we have had some interesting conversations over the years and as you say OP we change as we age and go through different life events. Go for it and keep the spark alive.
I definitely think if you take each other for granted and lose interest in what makes your partner tick it makes the relationship more vulnerable. We still have interesting debates and find new things out after decades together.