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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just left abusive relationship

1 reply

sunflowers36 · 12/01/2024 15:49

In a nutshell we were only together for 18 months. She moved very quickly, proposed to me by 8 months and then the true colours came out.
I had a year of emotional abuse, lies, twisting, manipulating, guilt tripping.
i spotted it pretty quickly as I’ve only had healthy relationships before so it stood out.
I tried to leave but she promise me it would change & she’d prove she was trustworthy- she prove the total opposite and then some!!

Came to a head and I left for good but she harassed me for almost 3 months. Begging and begging for another chance but it’s all lies.
she would beg to talk and when we did she’d speak to me like utter cr*p! Bizarre.
She destroyed the relationship and broke my heart, I have never been or felt betrayal like it.

I know I have made the right choice it’s just hard. And that annoys me in itself.
Everytime i said it was over and to leave me alone she would just continue. She ruined my Christmas with her harassment. It made me feel frightened at times as I didn’t know what she would do next even though she never threatened me.

The last I heard was 10 days ago when she left a very long answerphone message begging again.
I just text her the next day saying I had nothing to discuss.
She didn’t reply which is very unusual as she would always respond or ignore it and carry on saying what she wanted.
First I thought she must of got the message now but it’s left me feeling like it’s a new tactic & she is going to appear again.
I’ve just had a fresh start which she didn’t want me to do so I expected her to come and spoil it as whenever I’ve something important (job, test etc) she would start a drama the day before to put me off. Like she didn’t want me to have any independence.

I know I am worth more, I have a lovely family, great friends, a good career but when does the feeling like you’re in a washing machine end?

OP posts:
Quiinkong · 06/10/2024 00:12

Be proud you got away. Block her on all platform she can reach you on. Your happiness matters. You say you've been in healthy relationships before, so why settle for less? I know emotions aren't easy to control but you know you deserve better. It may take a while but you will get over this. Stay strong

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