Been with my partner 4/5 years, I'm 27 he's 31, moved country for him and given my absolute all. Constantly discarded, verbally abused, told all the time hoew stupid i am etc, started small and now he just ups the anti every single time. I recognise it as a trauma bond, but still find it so difficult.
Recent event: Went out for the last day of work at xmas (22nd dec) with all my colleagues/friends, came home to be dragged out of bed for him to see my phone, to him then going to sleep in his daughters bed ( SD aged 10) (she wasn't home thankfully) and locked my duvet in there with him so I had to use my coat as a cover for the night. Silent treatment then from 21st - 27th December whilst I was home in England with my family, for him to then promise the world on new years eve, loves me unconditionally, im so beautiful and perfect, he cant wait for this year with me, he's going to give me the world, to then be discarded again a few days ago because he 'doesn't have a spark for me'. (We went to a doctor a few months ago as he believed he had ADHD, after explaining, the doctor told him they think he actually has bipolar - of course nothing got done about it)
I'm absolutely mentally exhausted. I know i'm to blame for believing him when he does come back, but its just so hard. I feel like I'm living for each hour at the moment, he can make me feel on top of the world and then I feel absolutely floored
I know I have to walk. I just am finding it so hard. Please let me know what worked for you if you've ever been in the same kind've position. :(