My feelings are undermined

[Montana54326]

I'm really struggling with the way my DH has forgiven my SD so easily.

She really hurt me with her actions and he stated her needed an apology from her insisted actually he even broke contact for a while.

But since then he's met her and she said she acted how she did because she is jealous of me. He said that was a big thing for her to admit and so in his eyes that was her apology.

To me it's not and I'm still feeling aggrieved yet he knows that's as far as she'll go with her apology so I do not want a relationship with her.

I am upset because I know he's forgiven her and it feels like my feelings are undermined here, it doesn't matter how she acted and there were no consequences -bearing in mind she is a grown adult.

It upsets me that he's rolled over so easily and that it's acceptable for him to carry on as normal with her now as if it never happened yet how I feel is ignored.

You're talking about 2 completely different things.

He has a relationship with his daughter. This relationship is based on unconditional love. Parents are supposed to forgive their children for all the stupid things they do. That's part of the job. He'd be a terrible dad if he didn't.
He is proud of her for opening up about her feelings. He is allowed to do that. He's her father. That's what being a good dad is all about.

You have your own relationship with this girl, which is not based on unconditional love. You don't owe her that. She's not your child.
You get to still be upset about whatever it is she did and have your feelings. You don't need him to have the same exact feelings or reactions, just to validate your feelings. He also has a responsibility as a father, which is to forgive and be the bigger person.

Him forgiving her doesn't invalidate your feelings. That's what you're making out of it and it's not fair. You can not expect him to stop being her father and take on fatherly roles because you're holding a grudge. His duty as a father will always trump his role as your partner, and it should!
He just needs to respect that you're not ready to forgive her. It's your right to need more time and maybe a more explicit apology.

But be warned. If you can't be the adult here and you keep sulking, you will end up losing him over it.

She’s his daughter, of course he wants a relationship with her. Accept the apology or you’ll lose him.

I agree with the previous posters. He's her father so I would be very wary of making him choose between you because if he's a good father, he'll choose her

What do feel would be a sufficient punishment ?