Ex not supporting DS needs and not sending him to school

[amymoo14]

Advice here. DS is 8, and has ASD. Ex and I have been separated 6 years and have 50/50 over DS.
Ex doesn't have a routine, understand the ASD requirements and needs, DS also doesnt sleeo at his, and has now got into a bad habit of not sending him to school. Every 6 weeks he is off around 4 days because ex doesn't want to deal with any meltdown or potential backlash.
This doesn't happen in my week with him, he is perfect, as its structured and he knows his boundaries.
I've spoken to ex about the possibility of me having him for a bit longer (currently week on week off routine) but was very angry about the thought of not being 50/50 care anymore.
It's starting to really have a negative effect on DS, has anyone been in this situation? Or can give advice on where I stand legally etc? Who can I talk to about this?

Thanks for any advice 😊

I would imagine the school would have been in touch regarding the amount of absences he's had no? they usually would get in touch with both parents.
I would also speak to school safeguarding as they may also have some advice on what you could do.
It's not down to you to support him to get your child to school in his contact time, he's a parent, this is his responsibility. Recognise it isn't good for your son though, he does need structure and stability.
Have you perhaps called children's services for some advice also?
Realistically, if I were you - I would take the matter to court.

4 days off school out of 3 weeks in his Dad’s care? That’s atrocious, nearly 1 day in every 3 he’s kept off school.
Can you address it with school by giving them your 50/50 schedule? Maybe ask for a quick meeting about your son’s attendance and just let them know it’s all happening on days your son is with your ex, not you. This means 2 things from the school’s point of view - things at your ex’s place are twice as bad attendance wise as they might have thought, and it’s a fixable issue because attendance is good when your son is at your place. They may be able to then put pressure on your ex to get your son in school more regularly.

I'd explain it to school and get them to intervene.

Speak to the school and ask them to get social services involved.

It may be that your ex needs to go on a parenting course or similar to learn how to best support his child as he clearly can't at the moment.