Advise

[Anna42074]

I've been with this guy since Sept 2020... up until December 21st I've been seeing him. It used to be a lot.. now since March 2023 it has been 2x a month at best.

He was never great at texting. I used to text more but he texts me first.

Since December 21st I have not seen him yet. We tried to see each other today Thursday January 11th, 2024... he has to take his dog to the vet yesterday he got really sick. Then he texts me in the middle of the night. He hate something bad sorry been dealing with this. 900!!

Then I said AM I seeing you soon how I love being with him.

He said Yes I know
Sorry so much going on
I'll call you when I have a break.

I don't know what to think. Last week he said he wasn't blowing me off...

I have so much anxiety not knowing I'd he's losing interest in me. I don't know what do I don't want to piss him off I just want him back

Are you sure he's not married? Do you often go to his?

Secondly, I'm sorry but he's not your partner. He didn't even bother to see you at Christmas.

I suspect he has an actual partner tbh.
Either that or he just doesn't see you that way.

You deserve better
End whatever it is.

Personally I'd go round to his place and end it. That way he doesn't get an easy escape.
Fuck making it easy for him.

So for ten months you've basically barely seen him? I'd drop him a text to say 'This doesn't work for me any longer. Let's just call it a day'.

And that's all he's entitled to. He's making zero effort. I suspect as pp said that he's got someone else.

I don't want judgement... he's married and so am I

Well there you go. What did you think was going to happen 😆 he's not going to leave his wife you know. Unless she finds out about you perhaps.

Basically you're complaining that he only manages to cheat on her twice a month?

So, withholding judgement-
Tbh I don't get the issue. You have fun with him twice a month, you've both maintained your marriages. I mean, what more do you want?
You obviously haven't left your husband either. Clearly his wife is more important to him and your husband to you. Even if you are both treating your marriage partners like shit.

What do you actually want?

Interesting that you didn't put the fact you're both married in your first post...
Really, I'm not sure what advice anyone can give because surely it's bloomin obvious??!

Lol, he's probably got bored of your fling on the side and got a different one on the go, so he's busy with that. 3 years and both still married, that's impressive- that you can lie so much for so long and live happily with yourselves.
You were a novelty, but that has worn off and now he has better ways to spend his time. Women with low self-esteem, cease to be attractive after a while I should think.

We used to see each other 2x now it's been 1... so hes not dumping me

Ad pp said, he'll be seeing another girl.

He may well be dumping you too. Via the slow fade.

He won't want to upset you incase you tell his wife. Hense not outright ending it.

Also, cheats like choice, so he'll probably not end it completely. Just keep you on the back burner whilst he sleeps with side piece b. Perhaps side piece c and d too. I dunno how much free time he has.

Frankly, if he wanted to see you he'd find the time, trust me.

I will never tell his wife ever I'm not like that.

Put it this way, if I have vanilla ice cream in my freezer, it's a happy life. There's no beating it as an everyday desert. It'll be something I'll always want to eat. But then strawberry ice cream comes along and I go through a phase. I enjoy it for a while but I'd never switch to it from vanilla.

In time, strawberry ice-cream gets boring. I've been eating it too much and I'm starting to get sickened to it. It's just not flexible like the vanilla is.

And oh, what's this? Chocolate ice cream comes along! Omg, I think I'm instantly in love. I might even leave my vanilla in the freezer and only eat chocolate from now on... I'll decide in the next week. Strawberry? What's that again? ...ah yes, yesterday's flavor.

This has disaster written all over it.

Why do you need this one particular unfaithful man to love you endlessly?

Perhaps it's a sign from above for you to try to improve your own marriage? You clearly crave attention. I am not judging you I am stating the obvious. Do you like reading? If you do I would recommend Why Women Talk and Men Walk or How to Improve Your Relationship without Talking about It

@Pinkbonbon 🤣🤣

Thanks for this, it's just reminded me I have a tub of vanilla ice cream hidden in my freezer since Christmas. I know what I'm having for tea tonight!

Right so you’ve been helping sone nasty man steal his wife’s right to informed sexual consent and her personal agency as well as your own husbands for over THREE YEARS and now your gutted your seedy affair seems to be dying a death and you don’t want our judgement!!!!

You sound like a peach!

He’s paying lip service to you so he can slowly fade you out while ensuring you don’t rock the boat and tell his wife. You’re just not giving him the thrills he was getting. He’ll look for a new supply, guessing he’s probably found it. Affairs are transactional and they are addictive and he’s exhausted what he’s getting from you.

Grow up. Leave your poor husband and let him find someone who is not a nasty duplicitous piece of work.

Cue the ‘my husband is so cold and emotionally distant’ update if you bother coming back. It’s so textbook.