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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Urgent advice needed for my friend whose ex is demanding her full financial position?

6 replies

Rangelife · 10/01/2024 09:00

Long story short: friends DH went from saying he 'wasn't happy' on a late July Wednesday (because she had dared to question him meeting up with a new female work 'friend' on a weekend with their ddog) to leaving her on the Sunday, taking off his wedding ring, saying he wanted her out of their house asap, asking friend what she was doing with her rings and insisting their divorce should be completed in 8 weeks. I supported her by showing her The Script from here, suggesting to her that this work 'friend' will magically become a girlfriend (she did) but he still maintains he isn't seeing her even though he is regularly at her house inc Christmas Day and NYE (he doesn't know friend knows this but she has concrete proof). Advised her not to rush into making any decisions, not to leave their house and not to immediately do what he tells her.

He moved back in 'with his parents' and filed for divorce in late August, friend had until this week to respond to divorce - she has been in a tailspin and has struggled to even speak to a solicitor as she is really upset, but has accepted the house will have to go onto the market this month. He has just sent her a message saying he wants all her financial details, pension, bank account, savings etc by the end of today and wants to explore buying her out of their house.

Does she have to give him all this info? I have told her to hang fire. Why would he need her pension and savings details to see if he can buy her out? Also, he gaslights her to high heaven, and tries to use legal speak with her (he works for a bank) to get what he wants. I thought the only people you are compelled to share financial affairs with is your own solicitor and the judge when you get a clean break financial order as part of the divorce? Am I wrong? Can anyone advise?

OP posts:
Whataretheodds · 10/01/2024 09:01

No she doesn't at this point.

Has he sent her his full financial position?

Whatevershallidowithmylife · 10/01/2024 09:03

Tell him nothing except to get his lawyer to contact hers.

Deathbyathousandcats · 10/01/2024 09:04

She needs to speak to her solicitor about this.

Rangelife · 10/01/2024 09:05

Great, thanks everyone.

I will tell her to refer him to her solicitor.

OP posts:
NoSquirrels · 10/01/2024 09:06

She doesn’t have to give him any information at this stage. She needs a solicitor.

Specso · 10/01/2024 09:07

If they’re married she will have to disclose her full financial position for the financial consent order to be set up but that request should come from a solicitor. She shouldn’t give it directly to him if things are acrimonious.

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