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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Thinking of leaving

5 replies

Jenny2020 · 10/01/2024 00:38

Hey all I'm looking for some advice Infact I'm desperate .

I have a little girl at 4 years old and I think my relationship to her dad is beginning to fail .
last year he accused me of cheating to the point he would video me comming home. We went to the doctors to sort this out and is now on tablets to control these things ...

As you can imagine since then I hate being questioned etc . It scares me like I'm going back to that place . Anyway now I feel im just fed up . He is ALWAYS skint for some reason and can never Justify why .

I feel I've totally disassociated myself from him I've noticed myself starting to have a wee bottle of wine at night which is not me ..

does anyone have any advice that's left their partner etc ??
also I would have to go back to my mothers which I don't really get on with but I'd have no where else to go ..

do I fight and stay or leave and deal with it .

thanks

OP posts:
Original poster
Jenny2020 · 21/03/2024 00:47

Anyone

OP posts:
Catoo · 21/03/2024 01:11

Sounds like you want to leave OP?

Are you still there putting up with him?

What do you see your life being like in 5 years if you stay? Same? No love and no money?

What will it be like in 5 years if you leave? Will you have your own place for you and DC? How did you get there? A job you like? 18 months with mum saving first?

Decide what you want and go for it. Have a plan. Timelines. If he won’t be part of it, leave him behind.
💐

BH701 · 27/03/2024 09:05

Hi,

I just wanted to ask whether you'd come to any decisions? I am in a similar situation and struggling to decide what to do. Here if you need to chat xx

Original poster
Jenny2020 · 27/03/2024 15:08

Yeah ,

so I decided to stay ...
he had lots of issues to sort out and went to counselling etc .
i also realised lots in myself that I had to stop looking in the past and I had to move forward.
we set major rules and I decided that if anything was to happen like that again I would leave no words said .

its been hard I'm not going to lie but tbh we are actually in the best place we have been .
like every couple we do niggle but things so far are looking good ...

please reach out if you'd like ,

it was honestly the worst few months of my life

OP posts:
BH701 · 27/03/2024 17:51

Jenny2020 · 27/03/2024 15:08

Yeah ,

so I decided to stay ...
he had lots of issues to sort out and went to counselling etc .
i also realised lots in myself that I had to stop looking in the past and I had to move forward.
we set major rules and I decided that if anything was to happen like that again I would leave no words said .

its been hard I'm not going to lie but tbh we are actually in the best place we have been .
like every couple we do niggle but things so far are looking good ...

please reach out if you'd like ,

it was honestly the worst few months of my life

That's good to hear! Did he do counselling on his own or couples counselling? I'm not sure my partner wants to change or feels as though he does anything wrong so I don't know whether it's even worth it. did he decide to go off his own back? xxx

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