Broken marriage

[Appymummy]

Is anyone in an unhappy marriage but can't see a way of leaving? I feel like I am stuck, we have a child and neither of us want to leave the home but we just exist.

I should also add he has said numerous of times over past 18 months he's going to leave and hasn't!

Goodness your situation sounds so similar to mine. My wife and I just seem to be getting on, no longer in love or intimate but just civil and she talks lovingly to the kids (young adults) and keeps them on side by doing everything for them and showing she is more caring, fun, and going out of her way to be helpful.
Sometimes she says she would leave or that we should separate. I always think we married to be together no matter what, and maybe I feel we should continue for the kids, especially as we do get on as friends. Maybe we will continue.

I wonder if you have tried chatting with your other half about how you feel?
I did and said I don’t feel she cares or likes me as she did. She just says no and moves onto other topics. I sometimes think that we will eventually separate, maybe when kids are independent.
I guess there is a degree of insecurity in thinking how I’d cope or how the kids would cope if we separated. Maybe as we are not at a stage of totally disliking each other we just carry on.

Does any of this echo with how you feel?
on reflection maybe I’m just a sad man? lol

@TimeForHerts thank you for your current experience. Unfortunately we are further on and at times just do not even talk! He's out working hours on end (sees our child 10 mins a day if that) whilst I am looking after our child, running a business and studying. Yet I am apparently ungrateful and unappreciative of what he does. He's very negative and will never say anything positive to me. I am not at a point where I just have to walk away. Most nights we are sitting in different rooms or in silence, I just do not know how to move on, I just don't want to disrupt our little one

@TimeForHerts I must add I hope you work through things. I have suggested couples therapy but been shut down!

Yes. Me!

I can't get UC cos we have equity in a rental property miles away. I obviously can't get social housing because I am a home owner. I don't earn enough to rent privately.

You don’t sound like you are stuck OP. You have your own income and I presume you are studying to improve it further?

Your Child won’t be better off in an unhappy home. They’ll be better iIf spending time separately with parents who are more relaxed and happy without each other

I could have written this myself. My husband pays all of our bills - I earn too but maybe a quarter of what he does so financially I can't leave. But I'm miserable, I hate being around him, I feel my mood drop when I'm around him. It's like loving with a stranger. We've got 2 young kids & I don't want them to witness such an unhealthy relationship