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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Another relationship one!

5 replies

loza12 · 09/01/2024 18:19

NC for this.. so been with my husband 15 years 3 kids together he has a past of cheating and lies so we've been married 3 years a month after getting married I found him on a dating site and messaging multiple women on Instagram and snap chat (we don't have social media)I moved out the family home with three children and lived at my parents with them but I had to move 1 hour away from my sons school so he had to be taken out of school (sorry in rambling) anyway we split up for a good few months and then he promised me he has changed and he would give me the world blah blah blah, Last year was pretty tough I had a miscarriage then my DU and DN sadly passed away a month of one another he was amazing supporting me and everything else until my friend has found him back on Instagram liking another girls pictures anyway my friend has messaged this girl and said like what has he been saying to her which it's nothing bad talking about food but I feel so angry and tbh it just makes me feel sick and shaky thinking he's cheating again I don't even know what I want out of this post!

OP posts:
planetarynoodle · 10/01/2024 08:26

Do you want to leave him?

loza12 · 10/01/2024 09:59

If I try to leave him he threatens to drive his car into a wall and then tells me to make sure the kids know he loves them so I feel im
Stuck

OP posts:
Jollyoldfruit · 10/01/2024 10:02

loza12 · 10/01/2024 09:59

If I try to leave him he threatens to drive his car into a wall and then tells me to make sure the kids know he loves them so I feel im
Stuck

And that's when you reply that you'll call the police to check on him.
Call his bluff.

Bookworm20 · 10/01/2024 11:08

Do you want to leave him?
Or do you want to stay in a relationship with someone who is essentially blackmailing you into doing so?

I doubt very much he would drive his car into a wall btw.
He simply wants the benefits of a woman doing all his 'home' stuff for him, and also to eat his cake.
Honestly, your life will be so much calmer without all that stress and mistrust. If he threatens to harm himself simply tell him you will send the police around.

nc42day · 10/01/2024 11:26

loza12 · 10/01/2024 09:59

If I try to leave him he threatens to drive his car into a wall and then tells me to make sure the kids know he loves them so I feel im
Stuck

He is blackmailing you. If the only reason you're not leaving is because you're being blackmailed, it's probably time to leave.

Carry on and do what you need to do, if he pulls this shit again tell him you're phoning the police to check on his wellbeing and that should stop his gallop.

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