I went through a very sad break-up in 2022, which has been hugely difficult to get over due the complexity of the break up for reasons I don’t want to go into here. I have been doing many things to try and move on and live my life. I’ve done some dating in the past six months, and mostly just found the guys boring or just for casual purposes, and I’ve had no interest in making a big effort in meeting someone as I am fundamentally not going to “settle” for the sake of it. However, recently I’ve met a really nice guy who really makes me laugh and who I do find attractive. We’ve now met 5/6 times. He’s really lovely, and has even been doing lots of nice small gestures. He’s also been talking about me meeting his mates.
ive found myself starting to feel terrified that if I properly consider this guy, then this is me letting go of my ex forever. However I do know I need to do the latter. At the same time, I’ve found myself noticing small things about the new guy that gross me out. These are really not big deals and I know they aren’t- and I’m wondering if it is my subconscious trying to deliberately close me off to him and not give him a chance?
i don’t really know what I’m asking for here, but I guess others’ experiences of meeting someone new after a big break up, and if anyone experienced similar doubts/internal closing off.