Happiness in life whatever your circumstances isn’t a constant state.
Becoming parents is a huge life change for everyone. I’m sorry for what you are going through - please look after yourself. You are a mum for the first time and it’s difficult.
There are no easy fixes. Focus on your happiness and your baby. It’s lonely I hope your family can give you support. Don’t blame yourself.
If you aren’t getting enough help and support reach out to friends and family. For the moment don’t obsess over this uncertainty. Do things that make you
happy getting out and about with the baby - connecting with other mothers.
Nothing has been decided and whilst it’s difficult to remain positive do try and give yourself a break from stressing and worrying. Easier said than done I know.
You both decided to marry and have a family - and I’m sure you are both adjusting to the new family life. Don’t make any rash decisions to leave.
Build yourself up and understand you are a good mum. You haven’t done anything wrong. Life is hard and work stress is very difficult.
Everything is so new and it’s important to try and enjoy your new born. I would suggest getting help from family and planning nice activities. Perhaps you
can attend a mother and baby class and plan a nice baby photo shoot for
when baby is six months.
This doesn’t have to be an expensive studio - if you have a friend with a camera maybe a day out can be the time to capture moments. If your husband wants to be the photographer - even better!
Would you be open to planning a date night for you both in the next few weeks - it’s a suggestion - if you feel it’s not the right time you don’t have to do this.
Many families experience difficulties transitioning into parenthood. It’s important not to blame yourself or your partner. Babies wean at 6-8 months
perhaps you can draw your husband into helping with the new phase.
Many men can become distant and feel left out and make no effort and it’s not your fault. Handling such a delicate time in your family life will be the key to
overcoming difficulties.
I want to reiterate that you are a great mother and you want the best for your child. You can’t be responsible for his happiness - I know. The best advice is
to be calm and enjoy the baby and not worry too much. You both love your baby - can you ask for more help at bath time or bedtime so baby connects
with dad. Can he take baby out for walk whilst you do something for yourself -
haircut - coffee catch up with friend.
These are just suggestions - I don’t have the answers. When I was a new mother I was very unsure of myself (also had a c section), to the point where I would only do a bath time if I had help from the father after work.
I was feeding the baby and neither of my sons ever took a bottle. With my first child I asked for help with bath time - and I’d also pop to shops walking distance to pick up some baby supplies and that little walk and break was
very helpful.
I hope you find some comfort and confidence knowing this is a difficult time
for families you are not alone. Please look after yourself and know you are awesome just for reaching out here - that was a huge step.
Someone else may have better suggestions. Look after yourself you need to be a bit selfish and get some time to yourself.