Is it really attractive? Doing housework?

[Dgraveym]

Is there really a link between how much work around the home you partner does and your levels of attraction to him?

I've heard it for a long time, I did some ironing the other day, top off, I'm in good shape. My partner came in and made comment it's so sexy when you do housework without being asked. I'd rather she commented on my body but I'll take whatever compliments I can get

Is it really a thing. Personally I just think it's encouragement to do more house work.

TBH everythings attractive after a few weeks.

I tell you what’s not attractive,....men using mumsnet as a way to get female attention. 🤮 No vaguely normal man would do this.

But you said your partner...why were you ironing in somebody eles home? Do you really have a house key after only a few weeks dating?

Honestly, I consider conversations like that (patronizing) equivalent to dog training. You give a dog a treat when they do what you want. Being told I’m sexy while I’m up to my armpits in dirty dishes or turning worn socks and undies the right way around before jamming them in the machine (or worse, when they come up behind you and grope your boobs while doing things like that) insulting. I had to tell my DH very early on in our relationship that it had the opposite effect and that it made me want to jam his balls in the nearest drawer. I would find him sexier at the time if he pitched in and helped instead. (He got the message without me resorting to violence, I assure you - and I wouldn’t have married him if he hadn’t learned how to be a PARTNER instead of an observer.)

Probably this! It's more men not doing their share gets tiring and breeds resentment, so when they basically do what they should be doing we find it attractive and think we are lucky. It's tragic, but true. I agree with PP she's probably saying it to encourage you to do more, positive reinforcement and all that. Listen.

Men and women can be such opposites. You’d like her to admire your body rather than what you’re doing. I dislike being objectified, and don’t welcome comments on my body outside the bedroom. It’s one of those things that I filter through the man translator and accept as a compliment.

I’m not “turned on” by a partner doing housework. My sexuality doesn’t work that way - it’s hard to explain but I become more receptive to a partner’s sexuality and advances when I feel connected, respected and that we’re on the same team. The more I feel like this the more likely I am to be sexually responsive. But if I feel taken for granted, disrespected or dragged down it gets really hard to connect with my sexuality- it shuts down.

That’s what I recognise in the “sexy housework” trope - I wouldn’t be turned on by topless ironing per se but I might recognise that a partner was trying to turn me on and if he was generally pulling his weight and showing consideration and thoughtfulness, I’d probably be responsive to the rather unsubtle attempt to make me notice his body.

But it could equally backfire as I could be thinking more about the pile of ironing that you’re planning to abandon to have hot sex.

Now, regularly doing the ironing, fully clothed, without fuss or fanfare - absolute gold.

Not sure why that would matter or be your business, She got up went to work for a few hours, I got up made sure the house was nice for her coming back.

Can I just say thanks for that reply. I wish there were more like you on mum's net. Posters like you are the reason people still use the site and get something from using the site.

I realise the nasty and spiteful are protecting their own problems and should be rightly ignored and ridiculed, their projection is astounding at times.

My ex was absolutely usless with housework. My boyfriend is amazing and I find it really sexy and so refreshing. You've only been together for a few weeks but she's clearly enjoying seeing you do it. Just make sre you carry on!

OP it's not that people are projecting it's more that your initial post made it seem like your in established relationship, living together and talking about sharing house work. Doing some chores for your girlfriend in her house it's completely different situation that would get you completely different responses if you were clear from the beginning.

I've heard it for a long time, I did some ironing the other day, top off, I'm in good shape

I hope you're not in the UK, you'll catch your death of cold ironing shirtless in this weather.

I have never found a man doing housework to be sexy. I also don't consider it my job and it's not a huge part of my life, so I wouldn't think he was helping me out or sharing my mental load either.

I try not to think about housework any more than is strictly necessary and I certainly don't want to think about it in any sexual context.

I asked because I was getting the background in order to answer your op. I think it would be unusual for a boyfriend to be at his gf's home when she was not home, and doing ironing seemed odd if you are not responsible for it. Anyways in answer to your question I think it was a silly idea in your scenerio but I have heard of more nutty scenerios.

Why do men always post such batshit threads, and then invariably get annoyed with any posters who ask them reasonable questions?

And then they're so rude when someone disagrees with them.

Tell you what is sexy op ( to me ) a man doing the housework with a dad bod. Much prefer that to a six pack and loads of muscles etc. that would be my perfect man. I’ve yet to find him, much like the elusive unicorn.

I'll lend you my husband if you like.
We've been together 25 years and we do exactly half the housework each.

He doesn't do it in the scud though.

@TheShellBeach 😂😂 deal!

Oh yes you're doing a very good job at ignoring them, by making a whole post about them 😂

Btw most people think "partner" refers to an established relationship, plus the topic being housework leads people to assume cohabitation. Not someone you've been seeing for a few weeks, whom you're trying to impress by doing their ironing. So your title doesn't tally with your "real life" situation, and likely why you're so baffled by the whole situation in the first place.

I realise the nasty and spiteful are protecting their own problems and should be rightly ignored and ridiculed, their projection is astounding at times.
I can't see any nasty or spiteful posts on here, OP, but if you can, you should report them to MNHQ.

You were disappointed she didn’t comment on your body. Why else were you ironing with your top off?

Her comment about ‘without being asked’ is why posters felt you don’t normally pull your weight. Your dripfeed has clarified she was probably referring to past relationships.

Anyway, it’s not men doing the housework specifically that women find attractive, it’s deeper than that.

Legit Answer:

For me, it's 💯 not an increased attraction.

My DH doing his share (or more) means there is an absence of resentment / irritation / internal screaming that let's my natural attraction to DH shine through in full 🌞 vs being dimmed 🌦️because I'm wasting brain space thinking "how have stepped OVER the laundry 8 times and not taken it upstairs" or "why the fuck did you put the dishes near the dishwasher but not in it?"

I'm not sexually turned on by him doing the washing up if he makes a sing and song about noticing him do it. Like a kid wanting the well dones.
If he is being useful and practical without prompting and without making a big deal of it then I'm more likely to put out
When he has pissed me off or see him lazy I lose respect for him.

An efficient, hardworking man who likes to do a job well however big or small is a sexy sight.

Yes, I find it attractive. My DH does at least half of the household chores, and I find that a very pleasing trait. It doesn't make me want to rip his clothes off, but it does make him very appealing .

This sounds like a question Kevin from motherland would ask