Was this domestic abuse?

[AlabamaPines]

This all happened quite a while ago and I'm single now but it's been on my mind.
ExH is a builder. When we got together first he would come home from work, shower and change his clothes and then we'd get on with our evening.
Over time he got grumpier and moodier and if he came home in a bad mood he wouldn't change out of his dirty clothes and would sit on our (fabric) sofa and give me the silent treatment. If I asked him to change he'd say his job paid for the sofa and he could treat it how he wanted.
If he was in a particularly bad mood he'd get into bed in his work clothes. It really put me on edge and was a part of why we broke up.
I suppose it doesn't really matter now but I'm starting to think I'd like to meet someone and start dating again. I'm looking back and thinking I missed red flags with exH, and I'd need to be more clued in in a new relationship.

Yes, that was abusive behaviour on his part. Abuse is about power and control and he wanting to show you how much power and control he had over you.

If you have not enrolled yourself onto the Freedom Programme this is something I would encourage you to look at.

Yes, the moodiness and silent treatment sounds like emotional abuse. It sounds like he wore his work clothes to bed to punish you, as he knew full well it bothered you.

I absolutely second the recommendation to do the freedom programme.

Thank you, the Freedom Programme looks interesting. I feel like I'd like to look back with hindsight and see when the abuse started so that I can avoid ending up in a similar situation again. Life was so busy after we split up that I don't think I ever got any perspective or closure on anything.