Do any other women ignore this stuff ?

[Millymollymaisy]

Been with DP for 10 years . A year ago I found out he was liking and following pages on Facebook of half naked women ( in sexy lingerie / dancing / those kind of videos ) I kicked off as it’s a public platform and pages whereas watching porn ( I know he does to some level ) is more discreet. He unfollowed these and the couple times I’ve seen his phone there hasn’t been anything to see

last night I was able to see his Facebook history and once again in it there is a 3 unfollows of these kind of pages again. No liking of photos no comments no interactions no messages to any women but the three pages he had unfollowed were the same kind of thing and to unfollow means you had to be following at some point …

part of me says bring it back up, have the argument but the other part thinks he’s not actually following them at this point , there was nothing that really closed the line . I get men have fantasy and they are so different wired to women in terms of this behaviour but I don’t know what to do.

do I check again ina week and see ? Take it from there or admit I’ve gone through this phone and seen the same type of behaviour I’ve seen a while ago where I made my feelings very very clear about it affecting me .

for me the struggle is do you really need to be someone in their 40’s who cannot admire without having to like / follow on a public platform

what have you done / what would you do
thanks

You're stalking/policing him on a minor infraction. It's literally no different than having a male pinup calendar.

What makes you think op has a male pin up calendar in her home .... And that their mutual family, friends and acquaintances know it's there and see it.

Do you think her partner would be ok with it if she did?

You always write these crazy "male perspective" things, but you're always totally off the point.

Im not saying this is you but ....
If a woman dont like her man liking pics of other women online but she can post pics of her self in a bikini online and dont mind other men liking her pics.
wouldnt that be disrespectful to him.
As i say above im not saying this is you its something i just thought of.

So do you mean that his FB account is his real official account and your friends and family can see his porn activities?

If yes he might be not tech savvy enough to set privacy or have a fake account for his porn. If you mean to have him completely abandon porn on social media, it won't happen as sex workers are often self employed promoting their contects via aggressive, competitive and intetactive social media presence. Men largely consume porn from social media rather than porn sites or mags these days.

I don’t post any types of photos of myself on any media . It’s a personal Facebook with his family and friends on there . It’s the element of the public nature of it that offends me more than the actual women he’s viewing . We have a healthy active sex life so no complaints there and over all he’s a okay man… I just thought after the last time I saw this and explained how I felt that it wouldn’t be happening again and I also feel it’s extremely embarrassing to us both that he can’t just enjoy the view without having to mark it with the like follow button. I haven’t said anything else yet

They're such knobbers doing it on their main/personal FB account - like, if you have to (you don't) it's a few seconds to set up another FB account and use that for your sleazing/creeping/eye candy/thirst activities.

Op, I would find it extremely uncomfortable and disrespectful.

And I bet my bottom dollar he would too if you were following gym bunny, male fitness model, male stripper, scantily clad men on FB - in full view of your combined family and friends.

It's inappropriate.

Some of the posts on this thread are bonkers.

I must agree if I may.
I leave email, internet history etc open and available. I have never had my girlfriend/wife not look through it. It is expected though we pretend otherwise.

Men largely consume porn from social media rather than porn sites

I don't think the numbers through the porn sites back that up. They do both.

But if they consume porn through SM and they have a partner ..... They need to have the slightest bit of discretion.

Even if they don't have a partner .... What well adjusted man wants his porn/eye candy activities clear to his family, friends, work colleagues, community etc.
Like, have a tiny bit of cop on.

To add context he is meant to be Muslim.

Oh, I believe this is not acceptable behaviour in any way if he's a practising Muslim.

Even more inappropriate.

Does he understand that his activity is visible? He might not have realised it's visible. He might not know how to create a second account.
Practically, i would update his privacy settings and help him create alternatuve accounts for his smut.

Social media has been designed to psychologically appeal to us and hook us into interaction its very easy to forget and hit like. Its not that he doesnt care about your feelinvs, social media and porn are soooo addictive.
For the sake of your children and reputation i would create a fake account and show him how to log on as he doesn't sound tech savvy rather than intentional wanting to humiliate you. He sounds thoughtless and stupid.