Son keeps thinking about having kids since meeting his GF

[Tracyyy49]

So my son is 25 years old and has been dating his GF for 5 months now, this is my sons first GF and to be honest they really suit each other. He has told me that they've not had sex yet as they are both virgins and waiting for the right moment but he is always talking about starting a family. He seems to work lots of overtime and he told me that he has to because he would like to move out this year, he has around 12 grand in savings as he spent years working long hours and never went out partying or socializing much (he pays me rent by the way and will pay for shopping and will do chours around the house)

But he was looking at houses for sale the other day on property pal and he always mentions things like "oh that looks like a nice area to raise kids in" or will talk about the house not being big enough as he would like at least 3-4 children.

He tells me that running around clubs is "boring" and that he would rather go into work or go to the gym, Even his friends no longer talk to him as everytime he was asked to go out he didnt want to. His only friend right now is his GF and thats really the only person he talks to, apparently his GF doesnt really have many friends either as she said a lot of them have familes now or have moved on so the both of them only talk to each other.

Your post doesn’t seem to ask any questions, so do say more about what you are hoping to get out of this thread. However, if you’re concerned about your son’s behaviour I wouldn’t be. He sounds like a sensible young adult with his priorities in the right order. The fact that he is unusual vs. his peers (running around clubs etc.) says more about modern living than anything else imo.

That made me sound ancient! I’m early 40s and don’t much subscribe to transitional values (marriage etc.) but definitely believe in prioritising building a stable life over being out boozing etc.

Do you have a question? I’m a bit confused as to the point of this. Your son is in a happy settled relationship and is working towards a savings goal to buy a home. Sounds good to me?

He sounds great, I'm not sure what your concerns are but I wish I'd met someone like him when I was 25 instead of the series of mummy coddled manchildren not ready for commitment that I did encounter who are still not ready in their 40s.

25 is more than old enough to do all the things you've mentioned (have sex, buy a home, start a family). His journey into manhood should be celebrated, it's nothing at all to be worried about.

You’re very, very invested in the sex life of your adult child. 25 is a perfectly reasonable age to start thinking about having a family - would have been a little early for me but not for a lot of people I know. None of this is really anything to do with you.

I don't see a problem here. He sounds sensible.

Like PP stated, not sure if there is an issue here or a question. However myself and my husband are 28, at 21 we bought our house and at 24 we had our first child. He was proactive in looking at homes in suitable locations to raise children. I think it's nice men growing up to think about these things and be active in family planning. It takes the mental load off women, I am all for bridging the gap!

So what is the issue here except you wanting him to be your mummy boy forever?

Nowadays 25 is on the younger side to settle down, but he’s hardly a child, and given how sensible your DS is with money, it’s unlikely that they’ll rush into having a family-he’ll probably be 30+ if they want to buy and furnish a house first.

His life choices may not sound exciting to you, but he’s old enough to know his own mind.

Gently advising him to keep in touch with his friends is OK, imo, although he may choose to ignore you. My teenagers have stayed in touch with various friends from primary/middle school and their sports teams. I’ve just said to them that it’s nice to have a range of friends and they know that I’m still in touch with some of my sixth form and uni friends, plus former work colleagues.

@HamBone yeah I do think its nice that there are men out there (like my son it seems) who want to provide and my son also cleans, does dishes, washes clothes, cooks etc so Im guessing he knows that it shouldnt be the woman doing all of it.

But when my son was single he always complained about how many women his age dont want to have a relationship or start a family although im glad he has finally found someone who seems to share his same values.

Btw About the sex part it was my son who mentioned that they have never done it before and that they are waiting (I know he didnt need to mention that but he did for some reason)

Can't see the point of this post?

Do you like his gf?