My partner has left.

[Snard4]

Things have been shit for a long time. Please help me get through tonight?

I split up with my partner 24 years ago. We had been together for a long time.
I survived, somehow, and met someone else and we have been married for 20 years.
It is possible to rebuild your life, it may not seem like it today, but time is a
great healer.

I'm sorry to hear this.

How did it end?

It's horrible.

do you have a friend who could come over for the night, or you could go there? I needed people around me then, I don't think that would be my choice now though.

Do you want to talk about it some more? Or just a handhold?

I have four kids here with me. The 12 year old just asked where his dad is. I said he’s gone out.

just an accumulation of shit stuff that’s happened. Summarised for tonight: he cant cope with family life, and I’m too messy.

Just think it's been shit for ages but now the only way is up

he keeps Threatening to go, packed a bag and sat in the car then came back in so I told him to go, in the end. So now I’m the bad guy.

My husband left me 4 days ago. It's fucking awful. Sending love x

Edit - I am also the bad guy for telling him to go there and then. He wanted to spend the night.

You aren't the bad guy.
He probably never expected you to tell him to leave and probably expected you to ask him to stay. So hard when you have children though.

What is the outcome you want?

I’m angry that he’s left me to deal with the family life that he’s struggling with. 4 kids is a lot and two of them are troublesome at the moment. I don’t know. I guess I can’t really see my future without him but maybe we aren’t good for eachother.

Stay strong and don’t let him back. My ex did this for years and when I finally asked him to pack and leave he was shocked. It wasn’t easy and I had to keep reminding myself why I was doing it (I no longer loved him and was fed up with the way he treated me). I told my dc pretty much straight away so there was no going back.

Thank you

If things have been bad for a while, and you can't see things improving, its best all round if he leaves then.

"Can't cope with family life"? FFS, why do some men think they can just walk away rather than find coping mechanisms?

Make sure he at least pays his way and get a claim started with CMS. He may want to shirk his responsibility to be a present father, but that doesn't absolve him from paying for his kids.

I'm sorry this has happened to you OP. Do you have anyone close in real life who you can talk with?

i really don’t know how I feel!

I know!! It’s not easy but it’s what we chose!

he’s not a bad person. He wouldn’t ever leave the kids short of anything. It will be a struggle, though, as money is tight as it is.

Oh my gosh. How sad for you all. Thinking of you xx

My Husband walked out on me and our 5 Children just over 6 years ago. He couldn't cope with the responsibility of a family too. He now lives a bachelor lifestyle in the same Town as me. My eldest was 14 and the youngest was 7 yrs old. I feel sorry for my Children and me too because I got married to such a selfish human.
Wishing you strength and happiness for the future.

Am so sorry op. It's just shit.

I was in your shoes 7 weeks ago, I hear you. Sending a hand hold. You're going to get through it.

Be gentle and kind to yourself now. Keep talking on here and let in people IRL

Wait to make bigger decisions, right now you just need to breath and get your head around this

Being in control of decisions is a better place than not knowing if you are coming or going!!