Hi everyone,
I've been in this relationship for almost 2 years (we are both 36). Even if I am writing here, things are good. We love each other very much, we have a relationship based on trust, faithfulness, sex is still good, we are not bored, however there is a problem: we are not living together and don't think we will anytime soon.
The background of this:
One day per week, my gf wants to be alone with her, something we both agree upon because I also like that, but I did not make much of it at the start. However this is becoming the main reason we are not moving in, as stupid as it sounds. We've tried and saw a few apartments since our 6th month together, but she always was reluctant. We spend our time either at her place or at mine.
A background on her:
I think it's important to point out some things about how she is, things I know and accept, but I am subjective on it:
- she doesn't have any real friends and doesn't know how to make the difference between the term "friend" and "acquaintance". For example she calls friend somebody who she knows and speaks once per 1 year in the best case scenario.
- she is depressed and trying to work with that for many years now when, at some point, she was close to suicide
- she is unhappy at work and because she doesn't have a purpose, but she isn't doing anything to make it better, to solve that
The past two weeks we had two arguments that triggered me to write here:
- She was very upset we are sitting on the couch and watch tv series or chill after work lately instead of doing things. I pointed out that I came up with different plans (walk after work, drive somewhere etc) but she was too tired to do anything.
- This morning I made a comment while we were still in bed, like a stupid one that I've read somewhere that getting hit in the balls in same as giving birth when it comes to pain. It followed an argument and how much I tried to explain it was a silly thing I've read, she took it personal.
So, I love her, I think we are compatible, not 100%, but we have a good relationship nevertheles. But I think she is not in a right place and moving in will be a mistake. I think the therapy she is doing is either not helping her or she is not doing it right (no idea, we don't talk about it).
But I think not moving together and making the next step will get to me quite soon if we are not doing it, and I don't want to be selfish and ask her that when clearly she is not fine.
So? Would love to hear some inputs on this
Thank you!