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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Guilt, uncertainty, anger, sadness and more guilt

1 reply

Mustbemadme · 07/01/2024 09:41

Hi, i have posted here before for advice and im ashamed to say im still in the same predicament but things have progressed slightly. My husband isn’t a nice one, he’s not really a nice person. He does try to be a good dad but not consistently and has never helped with night times, hard times and what I call the real parenting. He’s nasty to me but then always manages to get back in and I’m weak and allow things to brush under the carpet for the sake of my kids having us both here. My MH is rock bottom. I’m desperate for him to leave. I bought a new house just in my name and let him stay. We have now told the children that we need to live apart for some time whilst Dad tries to be a better husband and mum heals. They see the pain. But they both are desperate for us to stay together and the amount of pressure I am feeling now from them all is making me want to run. I don’t want to lie to the children but I can’t deal
with the grief and guilt I am feeling. Feels like it’s all my fault now. I can’t tell them everything, I never would but I can’t forget it and definitely can’t forgive so feels like it’s on me. He has said some terrible things over the years. It’s changed me. I hate it.
how can I go through with this? Honestly?

OP posts:
Plvyunbcf56778 · 07/01/2024 13:57

Honestly? The freedom programme and therapy.

you've overcome the hard step of becoming independent and having your own home in your own name, a lot of people don’t have that option when escaping abusive relationships. That’s what this relationship is abusive.

Children are surprisingly resilient and will come through this fine, once they see how happy mum is without Dad.

You can do this OP, stay strong and know you and your kids will be better off in the long run.

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