How to help my DM

[ChanelQuiltedBag]

I want to help my DM as she helps others all the time - caring for elderly relatives, looking after DGC etc. She’s had a rough few years and is really unhappy and I’m trying to support her but find it difficult.

If you buy her anything to cheer her up she doesn’t like it, because she doesn’t want anyone to spend any money on her. She’ll barely accept my Costa free drink when I’ve filled my loyalty card up.

I’m concerned about her health but she shuts me down if I try and mention anything. I wondered if she might be depressed, I have been on ADs before and quietly suggested once I’d found them helpful. I don’t want to interfere at all, I would leave her to it but she’s open about how unhappy she is. Any advice? Do I just need to back off? She’s 60s btw so not elderly. Do you think she would feel patronised by me trying to say these things? It’s not every time I see her obviously, just occasionally when we talk about how we are etc.

Bumping

I'd like to think that if my daughter was worried about me, that we could talk about it and she would be honest with me. I'd hate to think that she was worrying about me and carrying the burden of keeping it to herself.

Can you approach her and say what you've said - it sounds like she's honest about being unhappy, so she can't be surprised if you want to talk about it. Ask what would help, and gently encourage her to talk to her GP.

If she knows it's causing you upset and worry, then she'll have an incentive to do something, if only for your benefit!