Realising you have a lot of emotionally abusive people in your life

[JamSandle]

The penny has dropped for me recently that quite a few people in my life are emotionally abusive.

This includes family members and some 'friends.'

Now I've realised this I want to distance myself and get a better calibre of person in my life.

But im also conscious that cutting out a lot of people at once might be a lot. How should I approach this?

As it’s convenient. Once you see, you see. You probably don’t need to actually plan it, just let it happen. Once you stop tolerating shit, some of the shiiters drift away.

Good advice. I'm really surprised to see how many people I've had in my life who have been emotionally abusive. Belittling me, putting me down, very critical, mocking, stonewalling, talking at not with, not reciprocating, competing with you etc. It's eye opening.

@JamSandle in my 30's I realized I had friends I had always been there for but it wasn't always reciprocated.
I cut out everyone who hadn't been there for me. I didn't say anything to them, I just became unavailable. I had fewer but better friends, quality not quantity.
My toxic family were a nightmare and were useless people who always needed support.
I had to learn to value myself and my time.

I've cut contact with anyone with whom i didn't enjoy their company and where things were one sided.

Still a work in progress but I realise it's better to be alone than with shit so called 'friends'.

I also think what most people call friends are mere aquaintenances.

Considering May December Relationship?

As we Pickle said some will be easy - as soon as you really start saying no to their shit, and they can’t get what they want they will go themselves.

I wouldn’t say anything to any of them - distance at a pace that feels comfortable. I found journaling useful through it (used online diary and deleted regularly).