Not married. Joint morgatge

[Rouss]

Hi everyone
Today I had the conversation with my partner and I have ended our relationship after even tried counselling.
We have a joint mortgage although we aren't married we both are on the deeds.
I said to him that the best thing it's to sell the house but he said he spoke with his mum and as the deposit was a gift from his mum, he has more rights and he wants to buy my part, there isn't any document that the deposit was personally to him(I'm gonna speak with a solicitor on Monday)
I have 2 kids with him and they will live with me as he agreed with this, so realistically I don't think he has more rights than me.
Tbh I just want to solve this ASAP and if he wants to buy my part I'll sell it and I'll find another place but obviously I don't want to loose money or my rights. Any advise?

Don't engage directly with either of them any further on this. Instruct a solicitor in the morning and all communication about the house through him/her.

You are entitled to half of the equity. His mum may not like it but that's a fact. You need to get a good solicitor. Unless she put a charge on the house when you bought it, it's a marital asset, the bit of paper saying it's for her son is is worthless. You need to get the best for the children.

Do not agree to anything with him or his mother, in fact do not even discuss it with either of them. Speak to a lawyer and then ALL communication and agreements go through a lawyer.

If I were in your shoes and there were no children involved, then I would think that it is morally correct to return the deposit money to his mother and then split assets 50/50 afterwards.

However if you have children together and you will be housing them for the majority of the time, then I would 100% be consulting a lawyer and following their advice.

Solicitor will put you right.

Please don't listen to people on here, there are quite a few incorrect answers on here.

It actually has nothing to do with her. She signed to confirm that her money was a gift. You and your STBXP are joint owners and she is not, so she has no legal say in any of it. This is between you and him, and any negative involvement she has will reduce the possibility of the two of you reaching a fair agreement and an amicable (or at the very least, polite and reasonable) co-parenting arrangement. If I were you I would point this out to him and suggest family mediation (actually I advised mediation in the first place). Mediation is far preferable to legal action and more cost effective; the two of you risk losing a lot of equity money on legal fees if you're not careful.

When it comes to working out the figures, this is what you need to do:
A. get 3 valuations from 3 different (reputable) estate agents and average them
B. work out how much mortgage is outstanding and what the fees would be to change the ownership from joint to sole (just him)
C. Calculate A minus B and that tells you the equity (C)
D. Take out any contributions ie MIL's deposit money, the £17k you paid for renovations, any other money paid by either of you for renovations or maintenance - that leaves D which you split 50/50.

If he wants to buy you out he will have to ensure that you recoup the money you put in for renovations etc plus your half of D (remaining equity after costs and contributions).

You should work on a proposal to put forward in mediation.

Has he shown any interest in discussing child contact?

Also - on 6th Jan you said you'd talk to a solicitor on Monday (8th Jan) - did you?

Except it's not a marital asset because they're not married! 🤦🏻‍♀️

This.

Take as much as you can. It’s highly unlikely that he will compensate you for your past and future losses.

And that he will pay half of all the costs of raising the kids ( including your lost wages etc .

And all the child maintenance he owes until your kid are grown.

But if he does, you can pay him it back once your kids have finished their education.

Ignore anyone who talks about the “ moral high ground’. They wont be paying your bills when he moves in with a woman with 2 kids and slashed your kids child support. Or goes self employed and claims he’s earning a few thousand a year.

Yes. I did and solicitor told me I'm entitled to 50% of the house as we are joint tenants and the paper his mum just wrote saying that the deposit is for her son it isn't a legal paper it was just to prove where the money what's coming from when we bought the house. Cause I want things amicable I agreed not to take the deposit in to account but he is like a child and depend on his mum for everything and now it seem like the whole story it's between me and his mum. I said to him that I didn't want to talk with his mum but his mum texted me and I agreed, I thought he would be present and it would be a conversation between the 3 of us but when I came back from taking my kids from gymnastics he was gone and when she turned up she actually said she told him to go so the 2 of us we could talk. It's a joke I'm so annoying I just wanted this between the 2 of us and not getting solicitors involved but it seems that's not gonna happen

Take the 50% and go to CMS

Your looking after the kids, don't they want them to be housed properly?

OP this is not the time to play Mr nice guy
take what is rightfully your. including the deposit.

if you paid 17k into renovation, how much was the deposit? the value added due to the renovation shouldnt be underestimated

One of the things they both came out with is two kids, but he seems happy to palm them off on OP. Maintenance is a pittance compared to half of the costs of raising kids, and that’s without even looking at the time burden and all the implications of that for OP having her own life as the primary carer.

I paid our deposit. Partner paid none. Monthly payments equal.
We have documentation saying I get my deposit back before equity is split.

I had a similar situation but no kids. Ex put in larger deposit to get better mortgage rates. I had no intention of taking it from him even though we signed as joint tenants, and legally 50% of the house was mine. He wanted to calculate the rise in equity based on this uneven deposit split (even though mortgage was 50/50 and I’d never been given opportunity to top up my deposit at a later stage) and I said no to that.

If you’re agreeable to giving his mum her money back, which does sounds like a morally good thing to do, make sure you get your share of any equity increase.

Get the house valued, deduct his mum’s deposit from that total, and then half the remaining value. That’s what you should come out with.