What time is reasonable for my daughters bf to leave on a Friday night?

[abbott1]

Hi! I’m new here. Looking for some advice.

my daughter who is 16 in a week has a bf who is 16, they hang out at our house Friday evenings, I am not happy for him to stay over so what time would you suggest he leaves?

last night I said 11pm, then it turned to 1130 eventually he left at 1140pm? Am I unreasonable to say 11pm? Or should I be more flexible…

im on my own at home as it’s just the 2 of us so I don’t have anyone to bounce these opinions off?

it’s a mind field knowing if I being too strict or not 🤯

I think out by 11pm is acceptable as I assume they are still at school?

yes they are in year 11

11pm is fine as I presume you want to get to bed and ensure he’s gone before.

11 sounds fine, your house your rules

11 is perfectly reasonable. When I was her age my boyfriend would have to be out by 8pm (if he was allowed over at all!). You're not being too strict 🙂

Mine is 17 but I've said 10pm on a school night and 11pm on a weekend

Exactly , I was exhausted and I needed to make sure he was gone before I could go to bed. Also the tv downstairs was on and loud (they were watching a movie) so it was too late really.

it’s all a new phase for me so I’m trying to navigate this

11 is good and if they go later than 11 next week it’s 10!!

Actions = consequences

I’d say 11 too, but if they are watching a film with 10 mins left to run I wouldn’t be too strict about the exact time. I’d let them finish their film (within reason)

I think 11 is a bit early at 16 on a Friday or Saturday. I had a limit of midnight at that age and then started to remind them of the time if the boyfriend was still there at 12.30.

Yesr 11 we went to 11.30 on Fridays and Saturdays.

Thank you for your advice! ATM they are in year 11 about to take mocks and then GCSEs, other thoughts are what is everyone’s opinions on him popping over mid week? Do I allow that during the school time but then I guess it’s less time for revising, or do I compromise and allow 1 evening day Wednesday for a couple of hours

Fine to see him in the week. They need other things during year 11 than constant revision. Mine still did sport and saw friends/partners.

To be honest at 16 I stopped making them go home, I'd rather my kids at that age were under my roof. I also preferred having a house full of teens than not knowing where they were

I’d say 11 on Fri is fine. But they need to be considerate - and TV full blast is not OK.

Personally - on a week’s day - i’ll get him to leave after dinner, or certainly by 8pm. As i am sure your Dd has studying and resting to do.

When I was 16, I was allowed to have boyfriends round, or go out, six nights out of seven and always had to have one night at home. During the week I was expected to be home for 10 and for boyfriends to leave at that time too. Although I was always very embarrassed at having to be home by 10, I kept to similar times when my daughter was that age. I left school at the end of what is now year 11 and started work, so once I was no longer studying, my parents lifted L restrictions for when I had to be home, but not unreasonably still expected boyfriends and girlfriends to leave by around 11 on weeknights. My parents didn't impose stricter times when I was revising for my GCEs, but I was sensible enough by that age to decide that I would go out far less for a couple of weeks before and during my exams.

What time do you go to bed? I wouldn't be happy having to stay up till 1ish lol