How to tell the difference?

[Whatadayyyy]

Has anyone experienced love bombing/future faking? I think this has happened to me but how do you tell the difference between genuine love and enthusiasm for a relationship and love bombing?

Actions.

I have experienced love bombing and thought it was just he was so into me and enthusiastic.
But, his actions started to not match up with the words.
In the sense of anything 'real'.

He would of course say all the right things, take me to dinners, tell me how wonderful I was, buy me something the second I said 'oh thats nice'.
But the real stuff, that was where it showed.
He would do anything that benefitted him - keeping me happy, nights out, weekend breaks etc, but if anything didn't quite benefit him it fell to the wayside.
And the big promised stuff (The long haul holiday, a cruise, the house, marriage etc) If he just talks about that stuff (and not in a 'one day i'd love to do that' dream type way, but in a 'we will do this, we'll definitely do this' way), but actually does nothing to move it forward its just future faking. Its a carrot essentially.
I think that's how you tell the difference. Actions.
Especially actions that do not directly benefit him.

Genuine bonds form gradually over time.
Love bombing feels like too much too soon. It feels like a whirlwind. They don't give you a moment to sit and reflect.

So they'll likely be on your phone messaging 24/7 from the off for a start.

Even if you're smitten with someone early on, normal folk don't want to appear too full on. They recognise that it's something new. They recgonise that the other person has other things to do in their life. Normal people give you space to live your life and breathe.

Love bombers might talk about taking holidays together or wanting a family with you or meeting your friends and family in the first few weeks of dating. They may turn up unannounced at your home. They may tell you 'you're not like anyone I've ever met before' even though they've only been on 3 dates with you and so, don't.know.you.

You start to feel pushed to keep up with their pace. Eg: they text you 24/7 and you feel obligated to reply. You think 'I don't want to put him off as I really like him so I better respond even though this is a bit too much for me'. You may even tell them this and they'll seem to agree but within days it'll be as if you never said it.

They bulldoze boundaries.

Then they might suddenly pull back. And you're left thinking 'have I done something wrong?'. Because even though the full on nature if things was a bit much for you, you've become used to it and are uncomfortable now it's absent.

This is how abusers often begin the cycle of abuse.

Basically, Love bombers don't respect normal dating boundaries. Or even your boundaries. But they guise it up as a nice thing like enthusiasm. Or we excuse it because we really like them.

If you feel uncomfortable or rushed early on, it's always a red flag. No matter how cute they are or how nice they seem.