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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Last time I’m meeting this person, had an awful time

11 replies

Animallover990 · 05/01/2024 14:49

So I’ve been meeting up with someone for a few times over the past couple of months to do hikes. His partner has fibro/ME so can’t get out to do walks anymore. There was a point I got angry at him because he hadn’t informed his wife we were meeting up seperately and if she was ok with it. He also acts as if he’s single a lot of the time and constantly messgaes/wont leave my side at the gym to the point other people have noticed. I’ve also confronted him about this behaviour to which he’s just told me he sees me as the best friend he’s had. So I’ve just gone on thinking I’m going delusional. But recently the outings with him have become insufferable to the point I decided yesterday it was the final time for me. I don’t get his behaviour- he bought this 1.5 grand camera randomly bevahse I once told him he took nice photos on his phone of scenery. Ever since that on these outings he just goes off into his own world on the camera and it’s like im not there/don’t exist and it can go on for up To an hour in the freezing cold. He then ever so often asks me to hold a torch or something up for him like I’m his assistant. I just find it so inconsiderate to leave someone standing in 2 degrees at 2am (we do night hikes) and just go off into your own world. It’s no way to treat a woman or any friend for that matter. The second weird thing last night was I’d accidentally left some gloves he lent me on the trail, miles before us at the time that I realised. He told me it’s fine, they were only cheap, then proceeded to look the gloves up on Amazon to find the exact price (£8.99). At this point I thought even this was quite petty , and most normal people would’ve shrugged a pair of gloves that cheap off if they were that far away. So initially he said it was fine. Then about half an hour later, he appeared to have changed his mind and suddenly started insisting we go all the way back up this huge ascent to find them. He was also getting in a bad mood about it. It added on another two hours to an already exhausting hike, just to retrieve some cheap gloves he’d said didn’t matter. I just found it so petty and I don’t know anyone else who’d have gone to that extent. I was so tired by the end of the hill I had to stop and told him to go on. Then after getting them he spent the rest of the evening gaslighting me telling me we went back to get them because I’d “felt bad about it”. I mentally took note this would be the last time I ever spent time with this guy.

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 05/01/2024 14:53

Yep, sounds weird, I'd call it a day too.

Hmindr68 · 05/01/2024 15:14

Flaaaaags. Even if they’re just friend flags. Flaaaags.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 05/01/2024 15:17

His wife has probably been praying you'll take him off her hands. He sounds insufferable.

Nonomono · 05/01/2024 15:23

Both of you sound pretty weird tbh.

You sound like you don’t like him, you don’t enjoy his company and so just stop meeting up.

MaggieNextDoor · 05/01/2024 15:29

Ugh, stop meeting up with this man. Night hikes? I've done the Snowdon sunrise walk and that was fun, lots of people and a lovely atmosphere, but hiking in the dark just for the hell of it? Nah.

Beenalongwinter · 05/01/2024 16:22

Night hikes? Is this a real thing?

Whatsthestorynow · 05/01/2024 16:24

I’ve no idea why you’ve put up with him for so long! He sounds a real pain.

bendypines · 05/01/2024 16:25

Seems he's in the running for first prize in the Insufferable Twat of the Year competition, and it's only 5th January!

Workingtomorrow · 05/01/2024 16:26

I don’t know what’s weirder.

His behaviour or you carrying on seeing him.

Just stop it.

MeMyBooksAndMyCats · 05/01/2024 16:26

Yep just phase him out. He's treating you a bit like his partner but only the bad bits!

Nonomono · 05/01/2024 16:33

Workingtomorrow · 05/01/2024 16:26

I don’t know what’s weirder.

His behaviour or you carrying on seeing him.

Just stop it.

Exactly!

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