This was cheating, wasn't it?

[NotSureWhatIShouldDoNow]

Or if not full-on cheating, inappropriate contact.

I have no idea why this memory has suddenly cropped up when it has no bearing on my life now, but many years years ago when I was young (early 20s), I lived with this guy. He was doting and attentive but a couple of things happened that made me doubt him. Being young and naive I believed him when he laughed my concerns off.

1. At a family friend's party a kid (about 12) announced he'd seen 'DP' kissing someone else. 'DP' flatly denied it and said the kid was a little shit, causing trouble. The kid actually was a bit of a troublemaker, so I was never certain.
2. I came across a screenshot of a message on our laptop from someone saying they wanted to dip his dick in candlewax. I went mental - he claimed it was a client who was unhinged and was 'joking'.
3. There was someone at work with the same name as me. He started mentioning her a bit and how she'd had affairs with a few married men at work. One night, he went out and got absolutely twatted. I got a message from him, saying 'love you, see you at the office'. He always maintained he meant to type at home/got confused etc. But it always felt off.

Don't know why I'm posting. I certainly wouldn't accept any of those excuses now, for validation of what I suspected back then I suppose.

Have a look at why you need validation from strangers, rather than trying to work out whether he was or wasn't doing something. This is about you, not him.

You can validate yourself: you felt 'off' about him because your natural sensors told you to. Nobody can tell you that's right or wrong. It's a manifestation of who you are. Respect your natural sensors = respect yourself.

Yes, true. I certainly wouldn't go against my gut feeling now. When I was young (and stupid) I felt I needed something concrete to go on to end things.

I don't know why I thought of this person - it feels random, but probably there's some psychological reason behind it.

Sounds like he was cheating. Sometimes when we are young an inexperienced we don't notice it. Hope you are working through this to make sure your treated better in the future x

it feels random, but probably there's some psychological reason behind it

Why? I thought of someone from infant school the other day, and playing marbles on a manhole cover with a very detailed pattern. Sometimes things just crop up in our brains. Maybe you watched a tv program or a friend told a story that reminded you unwittingly of a tie he used to have, or something.