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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice on partner blaming himself

2 replies

topgirlalways · 04/01/2024 11:12

My DP has had this horrible cold /flu bug for last few weeks and still suffering. I had it first and was off work and bounced back after 2 weeks. He had this horrible cough that is keeping him awake so is sleep deprived and getting grumpy.

He tried to go to work before Christmas and was sent home ill and then went off sick for a week. His work has a bad culture of expecting people to work whilst ill. He is now back but working from home. Which is making him miserable as he needs to be around people.

His whole work has had this flu bug and lots of people we know too. He has found out that someone in his open plan office has died from complications from the flu. My DP is blaming himself for his colleagues death saying he was in the open plan office with his colleague on the day he was sent home.

The next day the colleague went off sick with the flu. And died suddenly at home. DP is saying he gave him the flu and caused his death.

I have assured DP it’s not his fault. This cold bug is everywhere and limited contact is not enough for the guy to have caught it from DP. More than likely the colleague had the flu bug and only started to show symptoms. Plus there must of been an underlying health condition for this sudden death. He had also had another friend die in the same period, but they were terminally ill and expected.

DP is taking this personally not sleeping and now saying everyone has uk stay away from him. I am immno suppressed due to some medication I am on, so DP has moved me into the spare room and said he is limiting contact till he gets better so I don’t die. Everything is getting sprayed with disinfectant.

I am trying to support him and saying I am ok and living my life as usual. I am at risk from him, others or in the hospital where I work. He just won’t stop blaming himself. He is never that anxious or worried. This seems to have triggered something and he is not sleeping well so his own recovery is being compromised n

how can support?

OP posts:
Dwhat123 · 04/01/2024 11:20

The chance of him getting it from your DP is nil. It’s more likely that someone else gave it to them both. It takes some time for things to develop.

SkaneTos · 04/01/2024 12:27

What a terrible feeling for him, but it is not his fault about his colleague!

It seems like you're already doing everything you can to support your partner. Keep doing what you are doing.

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