I hate to admit it, but I really didn't enjoy Christmas.

[thebluegiraffe]

I feel quite sad that now the children are grown up, I'm divorced and have elderly family members to look after, I actually found Xmas really stressful and depressing. It seemed to last for days with everyone treading on eggshells for one reason or another.
The endless photos of happy families in matching pjs and merry smiles on Instagram was hard to handle this year.
Anyone else?

Most people will have many different kinds of Christmasses in their lives, some happy and some maybe less so.
The families you are looking at in matching PJ's will not always be like that, and might well have been different in the past.
Try not to compare.

@thebluegiraffe If you don't mind me asking what was your happiest Christmas memory/time or have you always found it stressful and a disappointment

When our lovely cats are sadly no longer with us, that Christmas will be spent in the Caribbean in a hammock by the ocean a million miles away from sodding JL and their 'Make someone feel special this Christmas' crap and other things that try and shoehorn us into believing we all have to be nice and kind and hold our tongues.

I'm with you, but for a different reason

I just don't care for Christmas - it's such a pointless hassle. We spend time with family on other days, kids get toys on other days, what makes these few days so bloody special that finding a parking space at Aldi's becomes a task for Indiana Jones?

my sister and I spend half an hour this year trying to figure out the logistics of who visits whom and when, as due to number of in-laws and geographical distances we were unable to all meet in one place

I hear you OP. I've come to absolutely loathe Christmas. The expense, the stress, the excess, spending time with people who you normally wouldn't look the road they're on, ending up with loads of pointless crap you don't need or want, I just fucking hate it.

Christmas was rubbish, I did everything for everyone, got no thanks. I can work as hard as I want for other people but they will do very little for me. It's left me feeling worthless and that if I wasn't here, nobody would notice until they had no dinner.

I've always been a massive fan of Christmas but this year was shit. A year of family bereavements (including my 21 year old nephew suddenly in mid-December) and a dose of flu that stretched from the 18th right through to this week put paid to my Christmas and New Year.

I'm actually considering going away somewhere next year - never thought I would but things change. I've packed up all the unopened non-perishable Christmas foods to drop to the food bank later.

Edited to add: we had beautiful matching PJs this year - even the dogs - and it was still shit.

If it's about elderly relatives could you see them on the day and do your own thing for the rest of it?

Also avoid Instagram and the like over the Christmas period if it upsets you?

For the last few years Christmas has been just me and my DH. We've always loved it. It was alright this year but something felt flat. Not sure what it was but I can say that you're not alone in that feeling

Unless you've a particular desire to go up a mountain or to a log cabin in gale force wind in the dead of winter, or to a luxury hotel that will be very expensive snd very Christmas focused, why bother to spend time and money trying to find an alternative way to spend the day? Why not just opt out altogether and treat it as just another day at home and put the money you'd otherwise have spent towards a holiday when the weather's better and the hotels are cheaper?

I actually found Xmas really stressful and depressing. It seemed to last for days with everyone treading on eggshells for one reason or another.

Most Christmases are like this ime.

I felt this way too. First Christmas without my daughter in 7 years as she was with her dad. I really missed my dad this year who died 5 years ago. Just generally feeling low. All the photos on facebook got me down even more as I don’t think I’m doing enough all the time.

I’m with you OP. I have already booked to go away for Christmas 2024. Just me, dh and the dog in a comfy cottage, far away from other people. I’m not putting myself through that again next year. Life’s too short to put with ungrateful, entitled adult D.C. and their equally ungrateful, entitled offspring.

Until they open their home and are happy to spend days running around, feeding and kowtowing to their family then neither am I. I’ve suffered this “happy family” facade for too many years. No more. Enough is enough! They can spend Christmas in whatever way makes them happy. I’ll be doing the same.

UN FOLLOW them all
xmas is hard
even when we know we have things to be grateful for , Xmas can shit all over it

its over x

Christmas for me seems to be a list of jobs to do to 'get ready' for the big day. I seem to spend my whole time ticking off lists of presents, food, cleaning, decorating and preparing. For the first time this year I'm glad it's all over.

I found out my dad died in tragic circumstances on Christmas day 12 years ago. It's always tinged with sadness.

Loads of people doesn't like Christmas.
Some feel lonely or alone.
Some miss beloved people that passed away.
Some doesn't like the wishful thinking of about be kind to each other just "about two weeks a year".
Some doesn't like the extra stress of shopping, hosting etc.
All of the above are just a few reasons amongst just Christians people.
Millions of non Christian don't even move a pinky about Christmas.

Don't worry you are not on your own.

The fact I love it doesn't mean I'm blind and I don't see that for many is just meh or even not a very nice time.

Believe me, a happy posed Facebook / Insta photo of matching Christmas pyjamas doesn't equal a happy Christmas!

We've solved it by agreeing with family - one Christmas at home, adult DC’s with us, the next away, just the two of us.

Last Christmas Budapest was amazing, this Christmas was great too as it seemed ages since we'd had a family Christmas.

Plan for you!

That’s our plan for the future too. I’ll invite the family to visit from Christmas Eve - Boxing Day. If they can’t make it then too bad. Gone are the days when some turn up on Christmas Eve, some on Christmas day. Then the rest turning up when it’s convenient for them (but not us). How many times do parents have to go shopping for Christmas food to have it all devoured by selfish DC and their DC whilst they sit and wait for someone to put food in front of them, several times a day? Why do some people think it’s ok to turn up, unexpectedly, on New Years Day for dinner and a short stay, when they were originally invited to spend Christmas with the family?

Im done! Their in laws can put up with them (or not) every other year. OR they can spend Christmas in their own houses - like most parents with children are happy to do.

I didn't have a choice this Xmas as I was ill and couldn't travel.

Tbh you want to be on your own when you're ill, don't you! So it was a non event

@Thecatthatgotthesouredmilk I'm so sorry. Hopefully you can include memories of him each Xmas 🤗

My absolute worst was on Xmas eve 2003, somebody high on drugs broke in and smashed up the place and broke my dad's kneecap. My mother started hitting him with a broom. Police got lost so it took ages for them to show and I was a quivering wreck.

My ex was awful in many ways but he drove 2 hours to pick me up that evening as I was too traumatised to stay.

I've not enjoyed Christmas as much since I split with my ex. I hate that every other year, the kids have Christmas dinner with him and his family. I always have to find someone else to spend Christmas with because my side of the family spend it with my brother and my dog isn't welcome there. I spent it with a single friend, which was lovely but it made me realise that its not even a big deal to spend it alone. I agree about staying off social media - its always the big 'happy' families who post.

First time ever, this year, I was glad Christmas was over. Nothing majorly specific happened that made it awful but we both have aging parents with health issues (one ended up in hospital over Christmas) and I can never truly relax when they're with us.

Kids are 21 and 18 and one of them spent most of Christmas Day at his g/friends, family visited us Boxing Day and buggered off after 3 hours despite us all knowing it would be an 'all day' event but all of a sudden they had to go had somewhere better to be.

My DM said to me yesterday 'I'm glad Christmas is over'. Literally out of no-where. And she absolutely used to love Christmas. So she didn't enjoy it either for some reason. 🤔

I think the pressure everyone feels to have a good time, makes it virtually impossible to actually have one!

I love the decorations and the fairy lights and the memories of how magical it all felt as a child.
But the reality now, is lots of work and money spent and it's impossible to recreate that magical feeling. It's what we put all this effort into it for, but you can't manufacture it, however much you try because adults will always be affected by real life worries, whereas children (assuming they are in safe loving environments ) are not.