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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Please help - abuse relationship, escape, finances

2 replies

JohnnyWeWorry · 04/01/2024 07:02

Hi,

Wondering how I can escape this marriage please?

Married, rented house, 3 kids, both work full time, no benefits or anything like that,

Christmas everything has come to a head and I've told him we're over but he won't go. He's extremely abusive - not physically other than occasionally punching a door or something. But constantly screaming and shouting at us. Every day. Xmas eve he woke the kids by pouring bags of rubbish all over their bedroom floors as he said the rooms were messy. I need to get us out.

But what I can I do if he won't leave? Both names on lease. What I'd like to do is find another rental but I can't afford it on my own. I know as a single mum I'll get help, but surely I have to be in the new place before I can claim UC otherwise we're classed as living together?

How can I prove to a potential rental that I will be able to pay once I move in? It seems impossible.

Ideally I want to stay here rather than uproot everyone but he just won't go.

OP posts:
disappearingfish · 04/01/2024 07:06

Do you have any family that you can ask for help from? Some who can lend you a deposit and/or act as guarantor?

DustyLee123 · 04/01/2024 07:40

When he starts screaming you call the police. Then you contact the owner and ask to have him taken off due to DV.
Contact Women’s Aid for advice. You might not see it yourself, but he is abusing you and your kids.

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