Define Emotional Affair!

[anon768]

Is speaking to someone other than your spouse for hours on the phone during working hours defined as an emotional affair??

Well depends on exactly what is being discussed and whether it’s between colleagues and work related. Hours seems rather excessive unless required professionally.

Are you working when you're on the phone for hours, or skiving?

I chat to lots of my colleagues .. Male & Female, it often strays into topics other than work. I’ve even been known to swap the odd text.

I think EA is often used to prevent people having friends of the opposite sex.

Working! I work outdoors so I have freedom to talk to whom I want.

Everything is spoken about, 2hours or more per day, maybe 4 days a week.

Are the persons talking on the phone in love with each other? Infatuated with each other?

Love maybe strong but there's definitely a connection

Would you go out for coffee, all three of you? Phone talker + phone talker + spouse of phone talker?

No.

Then you are on the slippery slope

If you wouldn't tell your spouse about it, then yes.

From what you've described, yes.
Do you speak to any of your family or same sex friends for 2hrs a day on the phone?

That’s just not true. Lots of people have partners that control their opposite sex friends. I have in the past. Not telling your partner can be indicative of the nature of your relationship rather than an emotional affair.

However, if you have a friend that you’re attracted to who is the person you primarily talk rather than your partner then I think there is a risk of crossing a line

For me it was texting all day every day, weekends, evenings, on holiday. I knew I'd wake up to a message and we'd text in bed at night. Very touchy feely, would say I love you but try to make out like it wasn't 'that's kind of love. Had conversations about our spouses we shouldn't have had.

Way way way too much. If my husband knew the extent it'd break his heart.

I've been the secret friend in a situation you describe, but we didn't speak for hours at a time several times a week!
In a healthy relationship there should be no need to keep a friendship hidden.

If your job requires you to communicate for 2 hours 4x per week and its just job related stuff, fine. If the job does not require such lengthy chats and it's longer because of having personal chats, not fine. If you feel you have a 'connection', which is more than acknowledgement of them being fit (but leave it as married), then you're on dangerous ground.

If you find one another attractive then, yes someones being chased.

For the female she may class it as emotional, for a man it may be the required bullshit they spew to get a shag.

I think it’s not the number of hours you talk that defines anything.

Personally - for me it’ll cross into affair territory when the other person becomes your most significant emotional connection. When you constantly think and want to communicate - and actually be with that person. Rather than with your partner.

If - you happen to be lonely as you are doing your outdoors job and happen to have a friend who is equally available to chat for hours to kill time - it’s not an affair. Even if you are friendly and there is banter.
Just two people killing time as they go about their day. People of oppositE sex can interact without it being an affair.

It can - of course develop into something - as can any human interaction.