My friend and I suppose girlfriend is best description is struggling a bit and some advice from anyone who’s been through something similar might help :(
We’ve been very close for a long time, and I think both see each other as more than friends. She’s very open about her sexual history, we’ve both been on the adventurous side of stuff and she says she likes she can be honest.
Over Christmas she got really upset and a flood of emotion came out with her disclosing her last ex and her daughters dad had assaulted controlled and sexually abused her for years. She eventually found the strength to leave and has never told anyone what happened other than me and her mum.
I listened and tried to say the right things (ie not much, just listen) and reassure her none of it was her fault, she didn’t deserve it like he said and that she’s not all the names her called and “damaged unwanted goods” as she describes herself. I said I can’t fix it, but I can love her regardless and if she wants to climb out of the hole she is in as she describes it, I can hold her hand.
I told her I’d looked at a domestic abuse website to try to help me understand and it’s made her so angry :( Why would I do that, she can handle it all herself, she doesn’t need help and I shouldn’t have done it.
Silent treatment is currently ongoing :(
I just don’t know how to approach it now. I was trying to show I’m caring and believe and want to understand, but it’s had totally the wrong outcome and I’m really not sure how I support her now? I have a feeling I’ve lost my best friend :(