Left 8 year relationship. Feeling lost and guilt ridden

[Hellofromtheotherside1]

Three days ago, I made the decision to leave my partner. Purely based on the fact that I just simply am not happy. I'm happy, but not utterly miserable. Something is just missing.

We are trying to negotiate and sort the house out and if I can financially afford it on my own, so DP is still living with me. I've broken up our families and friends are devastated. I feel torn and lost for how I feel as I was really hoping this was going to be the one I marry. I feel utterly guilty. I think it still hasn't sunk in yet and I'm dreading when it does.

Anyone in a similar situation and can spread some light from the other side.

Anyone?

It might not feel like it now but you’ve done the right thing. If something is missing then you would be worse to carry on letting him believe that everything is okay. You both deserve to be with people who you are completely happy with and vice-versa.

In this case time will be a great healer. Everything is still raw right now but that will ease. Your first priority is to sort out your living arrangements, it will be too hard for either of you to move on while still living together.

Could you have spoken to your DH about the concerns and feelings that you were having? I'm not sure that you've given yourself, or your DH the opportunity to fix something that might have been resolvable.

Sometimes, we are just not with the right person.

Sometimes we have to be mature enough to recognise this and make a break for you and your DH.

You both deserve to be happy.

Did this come out of the blue for him? And have you ever heard the saying, wherever you go you take yourself with you?

From what you have written here, it sounds like you just up and left without a word, because you are not as happy as you think you might be. Is there more to it? How did you try to unpick and tackle that feeling before making this decision?

I'm not trying to say that you should definitely stay with him, by the way. I'm just not sure what to make of the thought process here, and it seems like you thought the nuclear option would be a magic fix, instead of the difficult rupture that it actually is.