Advise needed on ex partner

[soulsister14]

Hello, me and my partner of 13 years have recently broken up we have 2 children of a young age and obviously live together. He said he’s stressed, doesn’t love me anymore but still has feelings??? What does that even mean! He’s left the family home and still actively seeing the children. He stayed with us one night after all he’d said and like things were normal again then up and left! I got a text stating ‘last night was great but it doesn’t fix anything’.
he sends me random texts meaningless ones atleast once or twice a day, I never initiate contact! I obviously want him back. We are not married, should I give up on him or is he confused? There isn’t anyone else. Thanks

He said he’s stressed, doesn’t love me anymore but still has feelings?

Run for the hills. He is toying with your emotions.

last night was great but it doesn’t fix anything’

Please tell me you didn't let him have his cake and eat it 😬 he will only be round for that if its still on tap.

Draw a line in the sand and move on. Ask for contact only involving the child where messages are concerned.

He's not able to treat you with respect so you need to make sure he can't continue like he is. He might initiate contact, it doesn't mean you have to respond. He might want to come home for the night and get his leg over, doesn't mean that you have to oblige.

He will take the piss all day long if you let him. Don't.

Forget about him. He is messing with you.

There’s someone else. There always is. Even if you’re so sure there’s not. In a couple of months you’ll be back on here telling us that there was indeed, someone else :/

"Crumbs from the master's table." If "last night was great but it doesn't fix anything" means you had sex with him, he's using you in the worst possible way. It's time to regain your dignity, put your finances in order, together with agreed contact times for the children, and move on.

It'll take time to recover and you'll feel sad, but you can't spend your life waiting and hoping he'll return and that everything will return to normal.

Thank you. Unfortunately it does mean that ‘I let him have his cake and eat it too’. I won’t let this happen again, it was a mistake to believe he had changed his mind.
it’s really difficult to get my head around when there are so many mixed messages.
I have silenced his number for the time being. we have arranged for the kids and set days and I will send them out and he will send them back in that way we no longer have to talk or see each other until at least it feels better !

Firm boundaries @soulsister14
It's not going to be easy it never is. Now it's happened once he will try it again.
I have been the same fool in the past.
Good luck with time it will get easy (and for god sake if you have an itch that needs scratching invest in the battery type)

There's your answer @soulsister14 He is actually being very cruel leaving you dangling and toying with your feelings. Its good you've silenced his number, best to shut down contact and just correspond through email only.
Be aware there may well be someone else, there nearly always is.

He’s breadcrumbing you - throwing you crumbs of hope - to massage his ego and have occasional sex with you when he feels like it. You can’t block him because of the kids, but I would mute him and only read the messages once every few days. If they weren’t about the kids I wouldn’t reply. I’d put £50 on there being another woman.

Yup, he just wants the good bits. How old are your DC? I'm going to go on a limb here and guess you're in that phase where it's pretty relentless still - children need stuff all the time, can't be left alone, there's all the endless cooking/cleaning/shopping/nursery or school runs/ bed times etc.

Sounds to me like he just isn't interested in real life.

You need to be firm. It's hard, I know. Set a schedule of rhim seeing the kids - NOT IN YOUR HOUSE. He can take them somewhere, think about things to do with them, organise their food, keep them clean etc. Ditto, start thinking about finances and what is needed there.

im 34, and he is 33, just to let you know he’s done this a few times before now which makes this even harder to swallow.
I just cannot take the texts trying to be friends and joking like he’s not just walked out on his family? It’s so heartless.

Well, of course he wants to send friendly little texts. There are multiple reasons for this. 1. he wants to keep you sweet so that things will be easy - he can see the kids when and how he wants, you don't give him a hard time or expect too much of him etc 2. he still wants sex so he needs to be at least slightly nice to you 3. he wants to be "the good guy" and be able to tell people the relationship ran its course and you mutually agreed to end it and you both agree its for the best so that 4. he can get in with a new woman as soon as possible.

What @JadziaD said 👏
He's nice for all them reasons and a chance at 'coming home' still on the table if he needs it.