Cannot stop comparing myself to my boyfriends ex

[Littlebuddha99]

Thats it really! Has anyone else felt the constant shadow of an ex in their relationship? Can you move forward from it?
We’ve been together 16 months. With a break in the spring where he was pictured at a festival with her which absolutely broke me. He maintained nothing happened and she was just there as a friend for him but she’s deleted the pictures since she has started a new relationship. And I only know this from looking at her social media. Which I know is unhealthy! But right from the start of our relationship and the way he spoke about her it felt very much like she was the one who got away and like he was hung up on her. And I saw the way his face lit up when he spoke about her. She’s a sort of spiritual influencer with loads of followers and into painting with her period blood and howling at the moon type ceremonies and I’ve noticed a lot of the phrases and things he uses sound like something that have come from her which pisses me off and a lot of his suggestions of things we could do together sound like he’s trying to recreate their relationship so I just feel like a poor replacement. But am I sure whether I am overthinking it or being insecure.

But am I sure whether I am overthinking it or being insecure

Vaguely wondering how you think all this angst could possibly be beneficial. Do you not have any hobbies/interests to occupy your mind and time? Either tell him and let him reassure you - although it seems he already has but you're still angsting. Or end the relationship as you don't trust him.

Yep, he's hung up on her. Probably engineered the split so he could go to the festival with her - usually you have to get tickets in advance for these things, so he knew it was on the cards.
If it walks like a duck! - just end it and be someone's present rather than a recreation of the past. Can't of broken you that much if you had him back - silly move that - next!

This sounds like OCD style overthinking to me. 'So what' if certain phrases come from her. If you look for things like that you'll find them. I'd suggest counselling and focusing on your own life and interests.

Split up with him! My partner is divorced and I think I'm about a million times better than his ex wife although I don't really compare. I'm the right woman for this stage of his life. That's how you need to feel. He might be hang up on her but in this case just move on

I don't think I could be bothered with it if it was me. One of my ex's constantly referenced his ex as though she some sort of goddess and made me feel inferior all through our relationship, I later found out he did it to the girl he got with after me about me and she loathed me from afar. I think some men do it on purpose in some sort of control / psychological way of making their gf feel as though they're lucky to have them when in reality they're the insecure one, if that makes sense. Ultimately you have to decide if the juice is worth the squeeze, I suspect not, I'd let this one go op.

Sorry but I just can't get past the fact she paints with her period blood😂😂😂

Only once for a short while have I felt like this I genuinely didn't feel like I was his "type" he always had tiny slim women I am not fat but I am most certainly not as slim as these women anyway we had kids and a marriage didn't work out after the divorce he went right back to the same style women although he does now like to style them with my hair colour and bizarrely my style glasses (identical to mine didn't suit her face at all) it's actually quite creepy