Is my husband cheating

[Welcome1928]

Hi all,
im new here. I have a newborn baby. I want your thoughts and advice. I’m worried my husband is cheating on me. He uses the app Snapchat a lot i can tell by his Snapchat points increasing a lot. He is rarely on his phone around me or if he is he quickly gets out of whatever he is doing when I get close. When I am not near him he is on his phone alot. His phone is always on silent. He is not often home or I feel finds things to do to be away from me and the baby e.g work, do things for his family etc... He will go outside to talk on the phone and one time when I was outside signaled to me to go away whilst he was on the phone. Another when I asked who he was on the phone to and to show me his phone he hung up, created an argument and left home for a few hours. He spent a lot of time away for work when I was pregnant (owns his own business). Current circumstances do not permit him to travel anywhere so he is somewhat restricted out of his control. There are a lot of pressures for us at the moment, new baby, financial issues and legal issues.
I have confronted him and he is adamant there is no one else….
I am desperate for our marriage and family to stay together and work but I can’t stop thinking.
Am I thinking too deeply into this or am I right to be thinking like this?
thank you in advance

I don't know about cheating but the relationship in general doesn't sound great. Why can't he travel at the moment?

Hopefully it’s work pressure and clients he’s talking too. Your overthinking perhaps? Tired ? When I overthink I’m terrible for this. I’m not dismissing your fears just trying to say step back cuddle baby and try to rest then see.
otherwise you’ll have to have a sit down conversation. Hugs x

Legal issues

Have you actually seen his phone ? Do you know the password? Is he willing to show you his phone at any time of day when asked no problems & hand it over?? If your answers are no then yes it sounds dodgy. Maybe not full blown cheating but in my mind if he isn't willing to show u at any point then there maybe messaging involved he doesn't want you to see ? Yes with a newborn you are tired maybe anxious but he should be supporting you and not making you worry and cause fake arguments to not show you his phone. He should be showing you and reassuring you. Something isn't right.

You've got a new baby and he's got umpteen reasons to not spend time with you. You are entitled to tell him you expect more of his time, and you can end the relationship just on that reason alone.
But you want answers, so if you want more accuracy, than asking a forum who can only say its suss, then it's time to start digging.
Is he really helping friends etc when he says he is? Can you cross-check that? Is he secretive about his business? Could the legal issue result in jail time? He's got a lot to sort out, so could be that, but there could be other things going on too.
Has he been taking more care of his appearance lately? Sometimes there are other physical signs.

Yes I have told him I expect more and things have slightly improved. I have had a pretty stern conversation with him 2 days ago and he is adamant there is no one else. I’ve also been open about my feelings to his family who he is very close with.
he said one of those times I wanted out and he signalled for me to go away, he was talking to a client but it’s that client I’m worried about. She lives where he was working away. I have some info about her.
yes legal issue is a serious one but he is innocent and he says this is what is scaring him and not allowing him to get more emotionally attached to us….
his business is not private I help him with paperwork at times.
his appearance remains the same but he has started going for more walks recently with the dog, again I feel to be able to be on the phone but he says it’s to stimulate the dog as the dog was an indoor dog prior to baby being born and the dog used to go to work with him everyday before he started this new jobSite where the dog can’t go.
Yes I know his phone password and I have never asked to see his phone because he would just turn around to me and say I don’t trust him.. whilst I have nothing to hide on my phone I wouldn’t appreciate him searching through it like I’m guilty of something but if I needed to prove a point I’d have no issues.
he is defs working and doing the things he says I’ve crossed checked but most of the time the things he does are not necessary or don’t need to be done right at that time but he does it anyway.
we also live with my parents and I know that creates a lot of pressure/is not the best living situation so that could also play into it? We used to live in a self contained studio at my parents but it’s way too small so we have moved back into the main house. He will often go to the studio and hang with the dog for an hour or so.
I seriously don’t know if I am overthinking or just trying to come up with excuses for him.
im pretty desperate for things to work out, we have been together for 10 years.
thank you all for your comments so far x

10 years and no home with a baby? If he going to the studio too if I was living in the pil home

I really don’t know about the rest maybe distracted with legal case or maybe your gutt is right.

Could he struggling under the pressure of this legal issue? Is he trying to protect you from the seriousness of that given you've a new born baby?

He's hiding something. could be a woman, dodgy dealings, plans to skip bail... anything. But something.

Nah I don't see anything jumping out on this one. What I see is you have a very stressed hubby who is probably trying to hide the stress from you because of the baby. If he says he isn't I believe this one tbh.

We have 2 homes - Both investments due to cost of living situation. It was either take a break from mortgage stress and live with my
parents or give in and sell them.

What kind of info do you have about a client and why?

Meaning I know who she is because I help him with paperwork. I don’t have any communication with her though.

Not everything should be about money. Sell your properties and buy one and live together. Who wants to live with parents.
he sounds stressed.

Everyone who has replied so far has completely missed your Snapchat reference.

Do you have Snapchat OP?
Do you have your husband as a friend on Snapchat?
Is he snap chatting you?
How much does his score go up by and at what interval?

As someone who's had an affair I'll be honest (yes, I get the irony of being honest before anyone starts) and say it doesn't sound good.

The Snapchat, switching out of apps, disappearing and causing arguments for no reason are classic signs and things I did myself.

You won't get the truth if you ask outright because he won't like the confrontation and be prepared for him to turn it back around on you and make you question yourself.

He’s definitely up to something. I’m afraid his behaviour does sound like it moves into affair territory (the phone and Snapchat behaviours are typical, lots of time away from home, as is the picking fights), although it could be shady behaviours around this legal issue. I don’t know any cheat that wasn’t adamant he wasn’t cheating.

TBH whatever it is you sound utterly broken and fed up. He sounds checked out and a pretty bloody awful father who hasn’t been very supportive or helpful to you while pregnant or with a baby.

I’d be quietly moving towards getting myself in a strong financial position and detaching myself from him. You deserve better than this man.

Yes I have snap chat, yes I have him as a friend and no he doesn’t snap chat me only very rarely.
his points vary, they go up by about 1-6 points in one go, and about 10-20 each day.

I suspect strongly it’s not cheating, but the huge financial and legal pressure he’s dealing with, where he needs to crack on and get things done and doesn’t really wish to discuss the difficult details in front of you, -plus he lives with his in-laws, which would cause most people to want to go out and get away time.

id urge you not to make what is a very hard time even worse by accusing him of cheating on top of everything else. There is no evidence of such and every reason for him to be behaving as he is.

In times of stress it’s better to pull together, not add new unfounded accusations on top.

Hi
I think you have a stressed husband, trying to deal with stuff without stressing you.
When my husband had an affair, he admitted it straight away when asked about it. My advice would be to ask him again, and explain why you feel like he is.

I’d not ask again, she’s asked once, she doesn’t need to keep asking.

this man is clearly In serious trouble, and he lives with his in-laws. The op continually asking him if he’s also cheating and demanding to see his phone as pps suggest isn’t going to help this situation.

He's probably flirting to someone on Snapchat, grown men wouldn't normally use this method to just chat to mates, and he doesn't communicate to you through it.

@Welcome1928 My husband found the girl he cheated on me with on Snapchat. I would never have thought of it as an app used for cheating before I found out; I'd looked for Tinder and ones like that ( it seems he did have a Tinder account as well but denied it), but Snapchat is apparently a cheat's app of choice in many instances because the messages and photos disappear. He only gave this away because he tried to fool me that he'd only started seeing her after I had made him move out, which of course, was a lie. He too would take and make phone calls outside and barely let go of his phone. The only way I got a look at it was when he was crashed out and had left it in his jacket pocket because he was so exhausted from his gallivanting!, and probably from all his lies- being devious and treacherous, living a double life gives them a buzz but it also takes a lot of mental energy!
I am aware it could be because of my own experience, and it cold be because he is stressed from work and the legal issues, but the fact he's using Snapchat is ringing alarm bells for me on your behalf. I think you need to start finding out your legal and financial rights before you confront him OP and I am so sorry you're being put through this, it's horrible!

Personally, I wouldn't trust him at all. And this legal issue that he said he is innocent off, do you mean he's out on bail and is not allowed to leave the area?

He has used Snapchat for a long long time and so have I. I don’t think he has ‘found’ someone new on there I just think he communicates with people on there.
yes he can’t leave the area due to restrictions. I’m fully across the legal issue details.
also he sleeps with his phone beside him on loud. I could take a look but I really can’t fathom being hurt more… I know, don’t have a dig at me but I am petrified and/or in denial about what I’m thinking I might find. I turned to this forum to vent and see what people thought about the situation based on what I’m observing and out situation.