Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Cheating - life feels ruined

1 reply

salmoncake · 01/01/2024 22:26

Recently found out my boyfriend was cheating on me, over months, with different women - found evidence after having suspicions for weeks, which he gaslighted me over and tried to paint me as being paranoid.

I have obviously binned him but currently I feel like I’ll never move on from this mentally. I can’t stop thinking about it - every time I had a suspicion which he tried to blag away, I was completely right. I can’t believe someone I trusted could put me through all of this.

I am no contact with him permanently and trying to get on with my life, but does anyone have any practical advice for how to let it go and stop feeling so incredibly bitter? I’m struggling to move on, and finding it really hard to be productive at work. Everything feels pointless.

I have sat around for weeks being really upset, even over Christmas, while he has swanned off. He didn’t even bother giving me a proper apology when he realised I had evidence and he couldn’t lie his way out of it. It’s honestly been the worst thing I have gone through in my entire life.

OP posts:
ItsNotOkItsNotTheEnd · 01/01/2024 22:45

I am so sorry you are going through this. Affairs are traumatic to the person betrayed so be kind to yourself. This is your time to love yourself and do what makes you happy. You are in the middle of a grief cycle and will go through phases so don't be hard on yourself if one day you hate him and another you want him back. The trick is to try and stay present and not panic about the future or spend too long mourning the past.Things that helped me;
1.Therapy - I had cbt due to other previous trauma and it was incredible

  1. mindfulness - works wonders when your brain won't switch off
  2. exercise - yoga is good for bringing you into the present
  3. Getting out in nature

Give yourself time and look after yourself. Make sure you eat properly and keep saying to yourself you will get through this. Bitterness is focusing on him and the relationship. Healing is focusing on you.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page