Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Emotionally Exhausted - need other perspective

2 replies

Mooga123 · 01/01/2024 21:53

Its been a really difficult year including financial stress & dealing with 3 teenage kids. We had some counselling last year however this year it seems to have come to a head again. Awful timing peaked on Christmas wk end.

We kept falling out, I can't seem to do anything right but the worst is that I seem to really upset him about things which I struggle to understand so don't know how to prevent it happening again which is making me v stressed.

I have also been going through menopause & suffering with depression as I am stuggling with stress.

For background my husband was working lots leading up to christmas. He likes to cook Christmas dinner but i offered as he was busy. He asked me to collect the food order but when i got there they didn't have any record of it. I dont know why but i didn't call him, we never ring each other at work & a lot of times if i message he doesnt reply so i guess i didnt want to bother him. Anyway I bought some replacement items so we had stuff & came home.. when dh arrived home
He realises what ive got is not what he ordered. So.i explained there was no order.... the hugest argument erupted..he was livid at me for not calling him & for not trusting that he had made order. I was angry because i thought id done the right thing. Anyway after going again to the shop proving there was an order they still could not find it...that afternoon they discovered it & rang to apologise so we finally got what was ordered & got a refund on what wasn't needed.

I tried to put it all to one side but with all the arguments over past few months i wanted to try to find away to move forward b4 new year So i brought it up which caused us to argue again because I spoilt the day..

We didn't talk for the rest of the day, next day husband has to fix something broken at home..I sai you do know that the other bit is broken too as i hadnt told him..later on he was furiours with me becsuse he thinks i think he is incompetent..i dont i was try to cover myself as i didnt want him to go out & get the part & discover it needed more doing.

I just burst into tears i was confused by his response..im.basically exhausted my teenage child almost 19 has been creating a fare bit of stress & i have quite a bit of pressure at work. Having increased to full time due to financial problems.

I am trying to see my dh point of veiw. He thinks its all me & i just dont know what to think anymore..

He is not a good communicator which is what causes a log of issues. I am very sensitive/hurt easily ( especially at the moment) Any oppionions would be gratefully considered.

OP posts:
HopeFloatsAbove · 01/01/2024 22:00

Sounds to me like he is setting you up for failure by not talking to you the way he perhaps would with his colleagues? What I mean by that is that most of the time we interact differently with people we work with as there are otherwise consequences such as HR, sounds like he does not respect you, you are both tired from teenagers and DH is finding you to be the fault as that is easier.

HopeFloatsAbove · 01/01/2024 22:04

Apologies, pressed to early.

Menopause, teenagers, and life in general are a big stress factor and can put pressure on the best of relationships.

If he is asking a lot of you maybe you need to communicate with him that you are stressed, worn out from teenagers, administrating homely matters and work, then having to monitor every little bit you do with regards to him in order to keep a happy man, and a happy home. What is he contributing?

New posts on this thread. Refresh page