Feeling absolutely pathetic

[Notgettinganyyounger23]

I've had an horrendous year that has left me feeling generally low. This was finished off with my partner cheating on me with his ex a week before Xmas. She isn't a very nice person and has found herself homeless and not well mentally from what I can gather. We don't live together, I'm not financially reliant on him. it's not the first time he has cheated. My children are at the point where they can't stand him and are only tolerating him because of me. I know I should tell him to get lost and feel so weak and pathetic but I can't seem to do it. He drinks to much and doesn't add alot to my life really. What is wrong with me that I'm unable to cut ties.

I know it’s hard but get out while you have the chance, listen to your children it seems they are right. I feel for you it’s really difficult but you will get through it

you need to somehow find the strength to finish it, not just for your sake, but your children’s.

life can be joyous, it’s over to you to start making some good decisions. Being alone should be way more preferable to being with someone like this

you deserve better x

My children are adults now and I just feel I'm letting them down. Especially my son, who has said I deserve better.

Try thinking of your children.

They hate him. Think of the damage you're doing.

I get it's hard but it really gets my goat that people put loser men before their children. Urgh.

You do.

Stop being a mug.

Don't finish it if you can't face the conversation.
You don't live together so you don't have to face him, wait for him to move out etc.
Block him everywhere and delete his number so you're not tempted to ring or text him.
Basically ghost him.
Your problems aren't your relationship, it's you, you need to learn to love and value yourself.
Take out the trash and I guarantee things will start looking up.
You say you've had a bad year, this is your chance to change your life, new year = new start.
Your DC sound like stars so you've done a fab job raising them.
You've got this, block him now.
Be kind to yourself ❤️

^ this. You can do it ❤️

What is stopping you from telling him to do one?

Is it a fear of being alone or a fear of not being part of a couple that stops you from ending it? Being part of a couple isn't the be all and end all of the world and it sounds like you're more alone in that relationship than out of it. Work on your self esteem, focus on those who live you and make 2024 the year you turn it all around.

You should listen to your children. They really care for you and understand you. It must be really painful for them to see you with someone who is so horrible.

Find your backbone. NOW.

I really don't know. I know I need to end it but then just feel really panicky at the thought. I know it's ridiculous, I know I need to get a grip it's just one more thing to deal with.

OP please make finishing with him your priority. Your adult children are right and it must be awful for them to see you being treated so badly. He doesn't live with you and you are not reliant on him for financial help so please just cut ties. Don't have a conversation if you're not up to it, just text him it's over and block him. Going forward get counselling to help with your low self esteem and to get to the root of why you are willing to put up with such disrespectful treatment. You are worth more than this.

Ok just calmly visualise what your day / life will look like without him in it. If the answer is better then the decision is made. Then visualise how you will end the relationship. Calmly see yourself talking to him or messaging him or whatever. Do this repeatedly till you feel able to just go ahead and do it for real.

Thanks everyone for your input I really do appreciate it