Second thoughts about kicking out cocklodger/useless man. Talk sense into me

[1CocklodgerHouse]

I’m kicking him out for lots of reasons and I need a good head wobble which I know you are all good at. Sorry if this is long!

The reasons include: he has cleaned the house once since moving in two months ago and we both did it so it was 50% of once, he doesn’t even change loo rolls, he uses my car everyday for work and never really asked or said thanks and has never taken me out to practise driving, caused mould problems in several rooms, broken several things + chipped lots of paint and not apologised or offer to repair/replace (in fact said I shouldn’t get upset over material things)
He is also dismissive of my feelings or calls me dramatic, gambles, is a dangerous driver, very focused on money but has none, not supportive of me, says he doesn’t have time to do things with me (but could magically always find time for sex 🙄)
In the couple of days before I gave him notice he snapped at me over something very cocklodgery, gave me the silent treatment because I asked him to take the bin out, watched a football game while driving and peed on someone’s front hedge/wheelie bin instead of finding a toilet 5 mins away

The problem is that despite everything it’s been nice to have someone around the house. And in fact we’ve kind of got on better since I gave him notice because I’ve stopped expecting anything of him and we’ve been civil but he’s out or shut in a room a lot so I know he’s here but don’t really see him

I’ve always thought I like living alone but I guess maybe not as much as I thought? But how could I trust that a random lodger will be nice and pull their weight when I thought my bf was nice and clean but it quickly turned out he can’t manage the bare minimum of either of those things?

I know I’ve made the right decision and I was so proud of myself. But now I feel really silly for doubting it and to be honest a bit pathetic for feeling sad about him leaving

Love that bit about the poltergeist

I always give a relationship at least 5 years before thinking about living together, that gives me enough time to work out if they are a twat or a lazy cocklodger.

😂😂 I will move him from room to room and put him at the foot of the bed at night

Thank you for taking the time to write this out, I definitely recognise some of these things in him. Thankfully I don’t think he’ll be back, he didn’t put up much of a fight and I think he’ll be happier somewhere where he isn’t expected to clean or look after things.

But he’s still being entitled (asked if I would like to give him a gift of some free furniture) so I wouldn’t be surprised if he pops up to ask to borrow the car 🤦‍♀️, absolute no

I have drawn a chalk line outside on the pavement. Why? Because I want to show you how low your standards and expectations are.

————————————————————

Happy to Help.

Oh god, it’s true isn’t it? It must be for me to be sad about this. The silent treatment was the final straw and I was proud of wasting no time in telling him he had to go, because I’ve never dated anyone so useless/childish. My parents had an awful relationship and set a really bad example so sometimes it’s hard to trust my gut feelings

I guess when things end you are sad about what could have been more than what actually was. He’s leaving today and there is no chance of me changing my mind. But I’ve decided I must be a very lonely person to feel anything other than relief!

When is he going OP? Do you have a cut off date?
Has he made any effort to find somewhere?
Are any of his things boxed up? If not get some packing boxes for him.

The cutoff was today and he’s gone except for a couple of things that he’ll collect tomorrow so thankfully I got these silly feelings at the end of the notice period not the beginning. He hasn’t paid the full deposit yet (his friend owns the new place) but he has bought a pack of loo rolls which he could never manage while here. The mould situation is worse than I thought now that I can see all the walls so hopefully that will fuel some anger in me!

Great! You’ll be so relieved in a few days!
How on earth did he make your place so mouldy?? 🤣

He showered a lot which I think is a cultural/hot weather country thing and the bathroom wasn’t used to it. But I have no idea how he’s managed to cause so much bedroom mould in two weeks. I guess maybe drying clothes and letting rain in the window. Or really terrible night sweats??

Ugh 😩.
I’ve got the ick just reading that!
I hope you’re starting to feel relieved 😌

UPDATE

So it’s been four months and since my initial freak out I haven’t regretted kicking him out one bit. It took me ages to sort out the awful black mould in his room, he gave my car back in a terrible state and he still owes me money (I’ve asked several times and he showed me a screenshot of £20 in his bank account).

He’s changed his phone number to a US number so god knows where he got the flight money, but today I came home to this letter. I will happily tell the bailiffs he owes me money too! But seriously, will the insurance company believe me if I tell them he doesn’t live here? What a prince!

Is it addressed to him?

Yes addressed to him. He asked me before to send photos of his mail but I tried and I’m pretty sure he’s blocked me

God he's 'orrible. Get rid.

2 months? All this in two months?

There'll be no house left come Christmas

This was posted a few months ago, he’s well gone now but the new drama is I’m getting debt collection letters and I think he’s moved country

Just inform them that he is not known at this address. In fact probably best not to open his mail and return to sender.

😹

Get a cat...... or did anyone already suggest that? 😻

8 see I'm behind the times...

Just write 'no longer at this address' on the letters and put them in a post box.

I’ll return the next one to sender. But if that’s enough couldn’t anyone do that any time they have a debt?

You are overthinking this.

They are his debts, not yours...

And he doesn't live with you anymore.

My tenants got multiple letters and threats from the bailiffs for the previous owner. I called as the owner and told them I owned the house, my tenants had nothing to do with old debts and here was the estate agent that sold the house he moved to. They immediately stopped sending letters/threatening to come round. Send them to his mate’s.

If you are still feeling in need of company these guys are looking for a loving home. They won't stay this cute for ever, mind.