Positive stories of being single mum of 2 and 4yr old

[biggreenboat]

Pretty sure my marriage ended today. Been a long time coming. Feeling a little bit hopeful at the thought of just a wee house/flat for me and the kids but at the same time scared I can't manage on my own. Someone tell me how good it is on the other side!

Mine were this age (though v close to the next ages) when I became a single parent.

Yes it is hard. How often do you anticipate they'll be with their other parent? That was harder for me at first, I felt utterly lost without them (even though I was desperately in need of a break). Take your time. Have counselling if you need it. Eventually you will embrace any child free time, I promise and it will be good for you. See a new house as a new start.

I'm almost 10 years on and although I'm still sad my children don't have their parents together, I'm in a happy long term relationship, amicable with their dad, and the kids and I are really close.

Thanks @CocoPlum. I guess it might be the EOW and one night during the week set up. He may push for more, which would be hard but I don't want to deprive him of them either.

Have spent the afternoon thinking lots about it. All the options and whether staying is easier. Who knows. It's exhausting. He's taken them to his mums tonight so I'm getting the break I've been begging for, except I'm just spending it missing them.

I'm a single parent to a 5 year old. I left her dad when she was 1..he has very little contact as he's abusive and its only supervised. I do 100% of the parenting and I also work full time.

It is hard OP, I'm not going to lie.. you definitely have to be organised. My DD does after school clubs and 2 x extra curricular activities a week, the week is like a military operation.

But I wouldn't swap it for the world. She's happy and safe and thriving and although at times I do struggle and find it tough, I'd take having our own mostly happy home over an unhappy home where both parents were.

Children also learn to adjust very quickly..my daughter is absolutely not phased by the fact her father isn't in her life very much, you'd never think it if you knew her.

Your children still have a relationship with their father so they'll learn to have their main home with you and "dad's house"

Xx

Mine were a similar age and I had a third when I split with their dad. I can’t sugarcoat it, the first few years were really awful, coping with three young kids alone was relentless. Their dad wasn’t great so I didn’t get much of a break. Things improved once they were all in school. The key is good childcare and a strong support network. I found it very lonely and in particular struggled with holidays, Christmas, special occasions. I had an amicable relationship with their dad which did help.

i met someone else a few years after my divorce and that really helped me as I stopped feeling so alone, but after 6 years he ended it as I had so little free time and he wanted more.

now they are teenagers and the practical stuff is much easier and we have a good relationship, but I still feel very lonely and find myself sad when they go to their dads, even though I have a busy, full life. I would love a boyfriend, but can’t face online dating for now.

best of luck. I hope you have people around who can help.