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Original poster

DP called me a dickhead because I woke him up

70 replies

WelcomeTo2024 · 01/01/2024 12:44

I never stay up for NYE and DP always does. Last night it was the other way round, DP was really tired and cranky so went to bed. He asked me not to wake him up.

I went to bed just after 12, was careful to be quiet. I cuddled into him which woke him up and he got angry and called me a dickhead.

I’ve just spoken to him (he’s at work) and said I feel he owes me an apology. He is still in a foul mood and has grudgingly apologised but says I am always the victim and I should apologise for waking him up.

OP posts:

Spacerader · 02/01/2024 00:23

You were a dickhead though, and I absloutely would have called my dh a dickhead if he woke me when I said not to.

Also when did dickhead become abusive language? What was he supposed to say when he was startled awake, and was tired and grumpy anyway.

"Oh sorry my beautiful darling, please do not wake me"

So, unless there is some backstory about constant verbally abusive behaviour you are the dickhead and need to apologise.

mrsfollowill · 02/01/2024 00:25

I've has this convo with DH many times over the years - I normally go to bed an hour after him- I like an hours solitude before bed ( we have been together 30yrs plus for context) I make sure I'm literally ready for bed- already in nightclothes- the room is dark and I creep in and just slide into bed without waking him.

By contrast he used to work shifts- came in from a nightshift and freezing cold and 'just cuddled me' ie waking me up an hour before I needed to be up- it's bloody annoying and I'm sure the word 'dickhead' was bandied about. We are both pretty specific these days so spell it out quite bluntly.
He is snoring like a chainsaw up there now (works office hours these days) - I'll get my earplugs in and slither into bed like a stealthy ninja in an hour.

Justrolledmyeyesoutloud · 02/01/2024 00:26

pillof · 01/01/2024 14:05

You were a bit of a dickhead. I would call my partner a dickhead if he woke me.

Amused by the pearl-clutching about 'abusive language'.

Me too!! I would have used a much stronger word!

TheTigerWhoCameToEatMyHusband · 02/01/2024 00:31

Are people really this sensitive.

Babla · 02/01/2024 01:15

There are many worse things in life

kiwiaddict · 02/01/2024 01:41

I don't think you should have 'cuddled' him and woken him tbh. I think you should apologize to him

Fivepigeons · 02/01/2024 02:43

Neither of you needs to apologise further. I think you are making a bigger issue of this than needs be. People are not at their best when woken suddenly. It is deeply irritating. He already apologised for the bad language. Just move on now. You didn't intentionally wake him so I don't think you need to apologise either. But just accept that you did wake him, he was already tired and grumpy and had work in the morning.. so yes he was nasty about it. That's life tho. Just draw a line under it. I presume he doesn't often speak like that to you? If he does then that is a problem. But I think being woken when you are very tired is an extenuating circumstance.

Panaa · 02/01/2024 04:12

Does he have sleep problems or did he nod off straight away after being woken?

If he can nod back off in a second like most men then he should have just got over it.
If he has sleep problems then that's different.

Also did he mean don't wake him up for the new years countdown or to be careful not to wake him when you got into bed?

Chichimcgee · 02/01/2024 04:21

@Burntouted thats quite a response, are you ok?

Chichimcgee · 02/01/2024 04:24

You rang him at work, to make him apologise for reacting to being woken up? It couldn’t have waited?

Panaa · 02/01/2024 04:26

@Burntouted 😂
you have to be taking the piss

PaperwhiteTheGhost · 02/01/2024 06:30

You WERE a dickhead though 🤷‍♀️

TheGreatGherkin · 02/01/2024 07:37

Christ on a bike, I would be livid if that happened to me. The language would be far more colourful as well. You were bang out of order.

Ofcourseshecan · 02/01/2024 08:48

Wow, poor old OP! She didn’t mean to wake him up. DH and I often snuggle up during the night, only half awake and soon fully asleep again. We wouldn’t growl at each other even if one of us had woken.

Maybe let it go this time, OP. Say “sorry I woke you” if he brings it up, and keep your distance if he’s asleep when you get into bed.

Brefugee · 02/01/2024 08:49

WelcomeTo2024 · 01/01/2024 12:44

I never stay up for NYE and DP always does. Last night it was the other way round, DP was really tired and cranky so went to bed. He asked me not to wake him up.

I went to bed just after 12, was careful to be quiet. I cuddled into him which woke him up and he got angry and called me a dickhead.

I'd have called you a dickhead for doing that.

You woke him up and he reacted. Don't do it again? apologise?

Brefugee · 02/01/2024 08:51

Camembertcufflinks · 01/01/2024 12:55

I think he's being OTT OP- I regularly wake my DH up in the night and vice versa if either of us have poor sleep. But we have never called each other names- that's terrible behaviour on his part. Work or no work, you deserve better than to be treated like that.

i would have left you for that long ago. Waking people up, especially when they ask you not to (especially when they have to work) if arsehole behaviour if there isn't an urgent reason for it.

LuckyVoila · 02/01/2024 08:54

I think both of you overreacted tbh.

Can't imagine getting that wound up over someone waking me.

LuckyVoila · 02/01/2024 08:57

Brefugee · 02/01/2024 08:51

i would have left you for that long ago. Waking people up, especially when they ask you not to (especially when they have to work) if arsehole behaviour if there isn't an urgent reason for it.

Show quote history

The quote said "if we have poor sleep" so presumably that doesn't mean that poster wakes her DH up on purpose, but just accidentally if she gets up to go to the loo or get a drink or whatever. If you would seriously leave someone over that you need to get a life. Who DOESN'T accidentally wake their partner now and then? My DH sleeps like he's dead and nothing wakes him but I wake up at the drop of a hat- if he turns over in his sleep it wakes me. I'm not going to sit there and fume over that, or expect him to lie completely still all night because I'm a light sleeper!

NickiHendrix · 02/01/2024 09:12

Opentooffers · 01/01/2024 13:20

Cuddling up to him when he was asleep and has to work today was a dick move.
He was quite accurate in his assessment.

I agree. I’d be pissed

jhy · 02/01/2024 14:52

My DP comes to bed later than I and everytime he tries to cuddle me or touch me it really disturbs me and wakes me up. I often tell him straight up don't touch me or F off (lol). I've told him it is extremely inconsiderate as I have to get up at 6 and he tells me he just wants a hug (he wakes up about 11 hence the late nights). I never apologise because i do think it's selfish of him so I wouldn't blame your partner for being annoyed over it. Obviously it's not too much of a deep issue in our house as it happens a couple of times a week.

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