My SIL had a miscarriage.
I didn’t know about it at the time though. Instead SILs behaviour changed, she became possessive of my DC demanding to have them overnight on the weekends they weren’t with ExH, demanding to do school runs, telling me I need to cancel wraparound so she could do childcare. I backed off and kept my DCs routine normal.
So SIL then convinced my mum I was the one with Mental Health Issues and that I was the issue, stopping her and Brother seeing DC. She also tried to convince ExH of this, and tried to persuade him to go for full residency (we have a court order anyway although we rarely stick to it as we agree it between us) and telling him she’d help out and do 50% because my mental health was the one going down the pan.
And she almost managed to persuade them. And ExH was preparing the court papers (he’d told me this) and I was prepping to prove I was stable enough to keep residency of my DC (I do have MH issues mainly anxiety and depression but I am generally well managed with a mixture of antidepressants, regular gym and swimming sessions and some private counselling when I feel I need it) but then SIL went off on an angry rant at ExH in front of DC, I don’t know exactly what about but ExH said it was mostly vitriol aimed at his very lovely girlfriend who DC adore (she is genuinely one of the nicest people I’ve ever met) but it opened his eyes to what SIL was doing and he decided to cut contact with them and they’ve never been in the same room as my DC since -this was about 3 months ago.
My mum still believes I have mental health issues and I am the problem, but I keep her and DBro and SIL at arms length.
Apparently this makes me heartless because of the miscarriage, I found out about it once ExH cut them off to, apparently I’ve convinced ExH that they’re the issue and it’s my problem not theirs and it’s only a matter of time until things come crashing around me. I am depriving my DC of a family (they have ExHs, he has a sibling who has DC and also a cousin whom he’s close to who has DC the same age as ours) and they’re trying to take me to court to force overnights even if that means me and ExH lose residency.
I’m not in the least bit worried by their threats, but am I heartless for not wanting them to be possessive over my DC almost to replace their own? My heart goes out to both of them, I’ve had a miscarriage myself but it didn’t give me the right to take over parenting someone elses DC and I believe I am right to not want to confuse my DC in that way, my DC are upper primary age for context.