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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Difficult to understand

15 replies

Louisabee1 · 01/01/2024 11:31

Soon to be ex husband had multiple affairs, left me and darling children in spectacular style over two consecutive Christmases, yes, don’t believe they are going o change unless you see massive effort but that has all been and done. Separated for a year, I can finally hold a conversation without crying and although so dreadfully heartbroken for me and my children, I am beginning to accept what has happened and dare I say make moves to continue my life not being in constant heartache. Why then, is my husband when collecting the children say for example this morning, crying and looking so upset, so much I felt awful after I said goodbye to the children. I am cross that he chose this, watched me and the children in so much pain and now he looks so bereft and I now again feel bad! I’ve no idea about the OW - cut all contact in February except for child arrangements.

OP posts:
Muchof · 01/01/2024 11:42

Don’t give it any headspace. Focus on yourself.

Louisabee1 · 01/01/2024 11:43

Yes, thanks, definitely going to do that. Just difficult not to feel something when you see them weeping at the front door!

OP posts:
ReadySalty · 01/01/2024 11:45

He probably realises that you've changed your heart and that he is no longer in it.

Oh well, poor him.

Good luck to you Op, hope this year brings you strength and freedom.

Needanewnamebeingwatched · 01/01/2024 11:47

Tell him to grow up he made his bed

He is trying to manipulate the situation, maybe he doesn't like the fact it looks like your over him, so he's just making sure his in your mind, or things aren't going well with the OW so he's looking for a bit of extra sex and boost from you, or to come back because life was easier.

Who knows, who cares, just smile and shut the door

Louisabee1 · 01/01/2024 11:52

Who knows, who cares, just shut the door.
Motto, thank you.

OP posts:
AgnesX · 01/01/2024 11:54

Hmmm, has he been dumped and is now on his own?

Eleganz · 01/01/2024 11:56

Not your circus and not your monkeys anymore.

The only thing I would be bothered about is ability to care for your children safely. If there is any hint that whatever he is going through is impacting that then it is your business, otherwise leave him to it!

Louisabee1 · 01/01/2024 11:58

Yes, it was difficult to watch this morning. As my children were excited to say Happy New Year after a mock little party at 7pm, and his eyes were bloodshot and red. He of course could simply have been hungover from an all night party. He refuses to do overnights but that’s a different story.

OP posts:
iklboo · 01/01/2024 12:34

Poor wickle fing all sad that the grass isn't greener.

Don't give him the headspace. As a very wise lady once said on here, tell him:

'Off you fuck, Cuntychops'.

Santaslittlehelper9 · 01/01/2024 19:18

Did you acknowledge that he was crying? Weren’t your children upset? How odd.

GreyCarpet · 01/01/2024 19:26

To quote my daughter

"Sucks to be him," I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️

Shame for him, isn't it..?

Onwards and upwards for you!

GreyCarpet · 01/01/2024 19:28

Louisabee1 · 01/01/2024 11:43

Yes, thanks, definitely going to do that. Just difficult not to feel something when you see them weeping at the front door!

You just need to remind yourself that this was his choice.

He's made his bed and is now feeling every spring.

Tough. He doesn't deserve your concern or your pity.

Louisabee1 · 01/01/2024 19:29

He wasn’t openly sobbing or of course I would have interjected as our children were there. His eyes were red and watery. I had seen him look in the window as I was putting outdoor coats on children etc and then he reappeared at door a minute later. Yes, it was odd and that is why I’m asking what on earth could be going on.

OP posts:
Santaslittlehelper9 · 01/01/2024 20:03

New Years Day…he was probably very hungover.

either way not your concern anymore and what a lucky escape!

Louisabee1 · 01/01/2024 20:27

Yes, not my problem! I wouldn’t have believed you if you’d say I was saying the above with a smile, this time last year. Amen to time!

OP posts:
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