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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Never invited to do things with his family

5 replies

ale3ex · 31/12/2023 17:02

Me and my partner have been together for 15 months now and I have never once been invited to something with his family, not a Sunday roast, not a day out- nothing at all.

In the whole 15 months I've only met his parents twice and that was only because he was dropping something off to them and I happened to be in the car.

One time when he was still living with them (we live together now) he did invite me to their house for dinner but it was just me and him eating alone in his kitchen.

He goes to their house with his daughter (from a previous relationship) at least once every week.

I don't really know how to feel about it, like I don't want to be invited every single week or anything but an invite to dinner every few months or so would be nice 🤷‍♀️

My family are always inviting him things like Xmas, birthdays and just random family dinners. He is always included yet I am not.

And one thing I find so weird is we have been together for 15 months and I've not even once met his brother (same age as me).

I haven't ever brought this up with him because I don't want him to then say something to them and then them invite me to something immediately because then I'll feel really awkward. I'd just like to be invited because they would like me to be there.

Not really sure what I hope to achieve by making this post but just needed to have a little rant about it.

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 31/12/2023 17:13

Family dynamics are different, some just aren't close and don't open up to new people well.

I think you may just need to bite the bullet and ask your DP about this. It's also possibly just because you haven't been together for that long. May not be anything more dramatic than that, some families just welcome new partners over time.

thistimelastweek · 31/12/2023 17:15

Invite them to yours?

Shangrilalala · 31/12/2023 17:17

^^exactly! Start the dialogue by inviting them over for dinner.

Harvestfestivalknickers · 31/12/2023 17:19

I agree, families are all different. In 28 years I have never been invited for a meal cooked by DP's family. They come to us very rarely, but will stay for a meal. They just don't do family get togethers.

MintJulia · 31/12/2023 17:23

My parents never met any of my boyfriends, not because I didn't offer but because they were not interested or the sort of people who would socialise. Not everyone is.

Maybe his family is the same.

I always found my parents refusal to socialise very embarrassing. Perhaps your dp does too. It isn't easy.

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