AIBU?

[allthingspinkx]

My boyfriend (26M) & I (25F) have been together for 3 yrs now. I've wanted to move in with him for a while and have made it known.

Recently I've had trouble financially with some investments that haven't gone well, it's left me just about scraping by month to month from my salary.

If I were to move in in with him it would take away my rent bills etc and I'd have money left over each month to pay for our groceries + small bills which I have said.

He doesn't want me to move in and has suggested I sell my things instead, I'm hesitant to sell anything because my things are literally all I have left.

We go round in circles with it and I can't help but think if the shoe was on the other foot I'd take him in immediately. We've known each other a long time as friends before dating also.

Any thoughts or advice?

He doesn't want to move in with you.

I can see why he doesn’t want to house you, to be fair.

I can see why he doesn't want you to move in . It is something that needs to be a joint desire.

It’s clear that he doesn’t want you to live together and therefore the relationship is at an end. You have forced his hand by asking if you can move in.

He might be thinking that you only want to be with him because it helps you financially not because you want to be with him

Get a lodger op.

Does he rent or own?

If I were to move in in with him it would take away my rent bills etc and I'd have money left over each month to pay for our groceries + small bills which I have said. Why wouldn't you be paying rent and bills at his place?

If after 3 years he’s not ready to commit I’d be calling it a day. Forcing him to let you move in isn’t the answer.

If he doesn’t want to live with you after 3 years, regardless of your financial situation, you should move on to someone who does want to build a life with you.

Surely if you moved in with him you'd need to pay 50% of everything?

So you've made poor financial decisions and now expect him to house you while you pay for "small bills"? You haven't considered that you should pay 50% of the rent and bills as a working adult? Can't imagine why he isn't jumping at the chance to become financially responsible for another adult 🙄

Honestly I'd run a mile of I was him. He is too young to be taking on that sort of hassles

He’s not prepared to rescue you from your financial choices. He’s not obligated to either.

Why on earth would you assume that moving in with him would mean you don't have to pay any rent?

He has absolutely no obligation to save you money - especially if your shortage of money is down to poor decisions on your part. What have you been investing in that's gone so badly that you have to scrape by?

I'd be seriously annoyed if I were him and you made this suggestion. It's the female equivalent of a cocklodger, often written about on MN.

Quite honestly, OP, for whatever reason, it doesn't sound as if your BF has any long term plans for your relationship.

YABU and if this was a woman saying how her bf wanted to move in because he'd made poor financial decisions and had offered to pay small bills and food she'd be told that he's a massive red flag wearing twat and to run for the hills.